Mo Is Winning Battle With the Stooges

Stephen A. Smith of the Philadelphia Inquirer commenting on Portland Trail Blazer Coach Maurice “Mo” Cheeks: “The dysfunctional bunch the Blazers have been is no longer responsible for the NBA’s negative headlines. Whether it’s occurred by the hands of Cheeks, Dear Abby or divine intervention, the credit for Portland’s resurgence should flow down one single path....

“At the moment, Cheeks is winning games in Portland with a squad most coaches are petrified of going near.”

Trivia time: What is the NBA record for lowest winning percentage in road games during a season?

The slob: If you think guarding Philadelphia 76er Allen Iverson is tough, try rooming with him, as the Raptors’ Jerome Williams did at Georgetown.

“Oh, he was messy,” Williams told the Toronto Star. “I was cleaning up after him a lot. He’d have, like, [three]-week-old barbecue wings under the bed.”

More food news: Rocket rookie Yao Ming, to the Houston Chronicle, on learning the hook shot: “It’s like if you had to get adjusted to using chopsticks to eat.”

Whatever you say: Jim Bouton, former major league pitcher and “Ball Four” author, telling the Chicago Sun-Times why his position is better suited to writing: “I always thought the pitcher was a higher level of primate. Hitting is a reactive process, whereas pitching is an initiative process. We have to do a lot more planning.”

Masochist: Pitcher Steve Reed on returning to the Colorado Rockies and homer haven Coors Field: “I wanted to complete the gray in my hairline and beard, make it all even out.”

Chief concern: From the Caught on the Fly column in the Sporting News: “After two heavenly years, Priest Holmes has grown weary of his contract that calls for a vow of poverty [relatively speaking, of course]. The Chiefs are using all the standard lines why they aren’t rushing back to the bargaining table -- Holmes already has a contract, the defense needs to be addressed first, blah, blah, blah -- but the real reason for the stutter steps, K.C. insiders say, is the organization is mighty worried that the 2003 Priest still will be limited from that end-of-2002 hip injury. And that’s why you shouldn’t do a double take when Dick Vermeil takes out that RB insurance policy a little sooner than expected on draft weekend.”

Culture clash: Michael Ventre of MSNBC.com, on the prospect of LeBron James playing for the Memphis Grizzlies and Coach Hubie Brown: “Will a stern taskmaster like Brown be the ideal mentor for a youngster fresh out of high school who got a new Hummer for his birthday? This will make Larry Brown and Allen Iverson seem like Ward and Beaver Cleaver.”

Looking back: On this day in 1971, Joe Frazier won the world heavyweight title with a unanimous 15-round decision over Muhammad Ali.

Trivia answer: Baltimore, .000, 0-20, 1953-54.

And finally: Tom FitzGerald in the San Francisco Chronicle: “The Reds plan to use 6-foot-6 Adam Dunn, who struck out 170 times last year, as their leadoff hitter. If he’s your table setter, it must be a table for one.”