If Memory Serves, Pistons Had Help From Injuries

Weighing in emphatically on some of the least important issues of our times ...

An opposing-viewpoint story written by a Detroit columnist in Sunday’s encyclopedia-thick Laker special section noted that, in the 1989 NBA Finals, the Pistons “mowed down the Lakers in four straight.”

The writer was suggesting these Detroit Pistons, like those upstart Detroit ‘89ers, would not be intimidated by the Lakers.

Realizing 15 years ago was a long time ago, and that I’m no expert in the department of historical context, I do recall the Lakers playing the bulk of 1989 NBA Finals without two of their five starters.

Did not Byron Scott miss the series because of a left hamstring tear?

Admittedly sketchy on the details, I vaguely recollect Magic Johnson, considered by some a decent player, pulling his left hamstring with 4:39 to play in the third quarter of Game 2, a 108-105 Laker defeat.

Don’t hold me to this, but Magic may have said afterward, “You work so hard to get to this point. Seven months of hard work, and then for something like this to happen, I just can’t believe it.”

The details remain a blur, yet a mental snapshot reforms in the person of Johnson limping through the first 4 minutes 46 seconds of Game 3, missing his only two shots, not being able to continue and sadly having to step aside for the Detroit “Mow-towners.”

Not that Magic would have made a difference, right?

* Cicadas wreak havoc at Memorial golf tournament in Dublin, Ohio.

One of these pesky insects actually crawled down the shirt of golfer Joey Sindelar. The good news is cicadas only show up once every 17 years, sort of like the Clippers.

* Birdstone wins Belmont Stakes to spoil Smarty Jones’ bid for the Triple Crown.

Many considered Smarty Jones the most inspiring horse story since Seabiscuit, who, according to book and film accounts, helped lift a nation’s spirits during the Great Depression.

Shoot. I was hoping a Smarty Jones’ victory in the Belmont might lift the spirits of a nation in the throes of sky-rocketing gasoline prices.

* Colorado Athletic Director Dick Tharp says he will keep his share of a liquor store he owns.

An independent report on the Colorado football scandal concluded the school used alcohol and sex to lure recruits to campus. According to the report, nearly 63% of Colorado students are considered “binge drinkers.” One recent survey ranked Colorado as the No. 1 party school in the country.

Many thought Tharp and football Coach Gary Barnett deserved to be fired for their lack of oversight in a scandal largely fueled by alcohol.

So, after all this, Tharp announces he’s going to keep his stake in a liquor store?

Tharp, we are told, has agreed to stop leading team-bus choruses of “99 bottles of beer on the wall.”

* ESPN to broadcast special in which celebrities read out loud how sportswriters chronicled the biggest events of the last 25 years.

I’ve been tipped in advance that actor Ben Affleck will read my account of Boston College quarterback Doug Flutie’s “Hail Mary” pass to defeat Miami in 1984. I’m positive it’s not the worst thing Affleck has recited because he once read the script for “Gigli.”

* Philadelphia Eagle receiver Terrell Owens complains he’s not getting enough passes thrown his way.

Owens made the comments at the Eagles’ annual passing camp, after a seven-on-seven drill.

Imagine how ticked off Owens is going to be when he has to play with the entire offense?

* Southeastern Conference Commissioner Mike Slive says he wants all his schools off probation by 2007.

Let’s recap: Since 1990, every SEC school has been on probation at least once for major NCAA infractions. Presently, all the football schools starting with the letter “A” (Alabama, Arkansas, Auburn) are on probation and Georgia and Mississippi State are facing NCAA sanctions.

Give Slive an “A” for effort, but the smart money says Courtney Love gets clean before the SEC does.

* Dodgers scrap plans to adopt a team mascot.

The inside story: The franchise sketched out some rough drafts for what it thought the Dodger mascot should look like: a rotund, bulbous nosed, energetic character tightly stuffed in a Dodger uniform.

The early artist renderings looked eerily familiar and the Dodgers realized they already had a mascot: Tom Lasorda.

* Boxing promoter Don King tours country with Republican National Committee in support of President Bush’s reelection bid.

King actually has a contractual “piece” of both presidential candidates.

If Bush loses, King will get 30% of all Democratic fundraising, exclusive promotional rights for John Kerry’s reelection campaign, plus a percentage of any pay-per-view telecast involving the inaugural address.

* Mike Williams seeks to play football again at USC.

Williams deserves reinstatement by the NCAA provided he pays restitution for any money he took from his agent, fulfills his academic requirements and publicly acknowledges what a nimrod he was for thinking any move initiated by Maurice Clarett could lead to something positive.

* Recapping last weekend’s fight card in Las Vegas.

Never mind the ho-hum bouts staged by Oscar De La Hoya and Bernard Hopkins.

The most potent exchange of the weekend took place when boxing writers for the New York Times and Boston Globe traded punches at the pre-card news conference.

The question: What are two heavyweight writers doing in the lightweight division?