Fans Cross Their Fingers for Limping Local Teams

This is a must-see television weekend for local baseball fans, assuming they can bear to watch.

The Dodgers are in San Francisco for games today (Channel 11, 1 p.m.) and Sunday (Channel 13, 1 p.m.), trying to stave off the inevitable, their lead over the Giants in the standings and their starting pitching staff having been whittled to nubs.

The Angels play host to Oakland today (Channel 13, 1 p.m.) and Sunday (ESPN2, 5 p.m.), thankful they play in the same neighborhood as the Dodgers, who have served as a very useful diversion while the Angels conduct their own September swoon, very quietly, under the big blue radar.

Without Dodger despair and Shawn Green’s plans for Yom Kippur clogging the talk-radio airwaves, it would be open season on the Angels, who have failed to capitalize on Oakland’s recent discomfort with the top slot in the American League West. The A’s have sputtered down the stretch, creating an opening large enough for Bartolo Colon and Mike Scioscia to walk through side by side.

Yet the Angels began their three-game weekend series with the A’s still two games behind Oakland, tied for second with Texas, which just swept Oakland in Arlington and could leap-frog the A’s and the Angels in the season’s final week.

Panic in the streets is understandable, but, all things considered, it might be time to cut Green a break. So Green is sitting out today’s important game in observance of a Jewish holy day. So the Dodgers need all the offense they can muster against the Giants, and Green represents a good share of it.

If Green’s teammates hadn’t taken most of the last month off, what Green does or doesn’t do on Yom Kippur would be a moot point. The Dodgers already would have had the division wrapped.

Available for viewing in the days ahead:

TODAY

* USC at Stanford

(TBS, 4 p.m.)

Hope for Stanford: The last time Stanford played the nation’s top-ranked team, in 1990, the Cardinal knocked off Notre Dame. Then again: This isn’t 1990. Stanford wishes it could have played these Trojans then. Many of them still would have been in first grade.

* Washington at Notre Dame

(Channel 4, 12:30 p.m.)

The Huskies’ defense -- a.k.a. the Best Thing to Ever Happen to Karl Dorrell -- sets off to South Bend to make some eager young Notre Dame running back’s day, year, career and/or lifetime. UCLA sophomore Maurice Drew, who ran for 322 yards and five touchdowns against Washington last Saturday, gets the day off, presumably to rest.

* Alabama at Arkansas

(Channel 2, 12:30 p.m.)

The best way to silence the critics who claim he isn’t worthy of the job, Alabama Coach Mike Shula figured, quite reasonably, was to win games. And Shula was well on his way to 3-0 when he refused to remove starting quarterback Brodie Croyle from a 52-0 rout of Western Carolina, resulting in Croyle’s suffering a season-ending knee injury.

To be decided over the next 10 weeks: The Second Dumbest Coaching Move of the 2004 College Football Season.

* Penn State at Wisconsin

(ESPN, 2:45 p.m.)

Despite some suspicious evidence -- e.g., 10 turnovers in his last two games -- Penn State quarterback Zack Mills insists he’s not a double agent having infiltrated the system and working secretly on behalf of the Paterno Must Go movement.

* “Hustle”

(ESPN, 6 p.m.)

Aptly named vehicle that impressively succeeds in serving up the reputations of Pete Rose, Tom Sizemore and Peter Bogdanovich on the sacrificial altar of ESPN self-promotion. Unless you somehow missed “The Making of ‘Hustle’ ,” “Head First: The Story of Charlie Hustle,” “Hustle: The Rose Debate” and ESPN’s determined effort to air a “Hustle” promo for every one of Rose’s 4,256 hits.

* Davis Cup

(ESPN2, 10:30 p.m.)

A quick scan of recent results for American men participating in international team competitions: Olympic basketball (our worst showing ever), Ryder Cup (our worst showing ever), hockey’s World Cup (lost in the semifinals), Olympic baseball (didn’t qualify), Olympic soccer (didn’t qualify).

Now what’s this? The U.S. Davis Cup team with a 2-0 lead over Belarus in the semifinals? One victory away from the final? Anybody see this? Anybody watching this? Repeat: Anybody watching this?

SUNDAY

* Green Bay Packers at Indianapolis Colts

(Channel 11, 1:15 p.m.)

Battered joints and body parts willing, this game will feature a classic matchup between two of the NFL’s greatest offensive stars. That’s right, Ahman Green and Edgerrin James will be taking handoffs from Brett Favre and Peyton Manning.

* Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Oakland Raiders

(ESPN, 5:30 p.m.)

It’s Week 3 of the NFL season. Do you know where all the old Raiders are? Check them off now. Jon Gruden? Coaches Tampa Bay. Tim Brown? Plays for Tampa Bay. Charlie Garner? Plays for Tampa Bay. Jerry Rice? Jerry Rice? Oh, right. That’s him, on the end of the Raider bench.

MONDAY

* Dallas Cowboys at Washington Redskins

(Channel 7, 6 p.m.)

Figuring a Joe Gibbs-Bill Parcells matchup just isn’t enough to bring in the prime-time audience, ABC plans to unveil a new “Monday Night Football” feature called “You’ve Been Sacked,” which involves NFL players playing practical jokes on their teammates. (And, yes, that is the ghost of Howard Cosell you just heard groaning.)

First victim: Ram wide receiver Torry Holt, who goes on a photo shoot after being told he’d been voted best dressed man in the league.

Why not just point candid cameras at Gibbs and Parcells as they are told, “Together, you have won five Super Bowls. And tonight, your starting quarterbacks are named Patrick Ramsey and Vinny Testaverde.”