You Still Can’t Spell Miracle Without Lima

Walking the Dogs all the way to the finish line ...

*

SAN FRANCISCO -- Al Michaels, the great broadcaster and so-so golfer, raised an intriguing question years ago: “Do you believe in miracles?”

I’d certainly like to think so, because I have a daughter who can’t get a date.

For the most part I’ve been really encouraged, not because the kid has met anyone, of course, but because I’ve been spending a lot of time with the Choking Dogs lately and I’m seeing things that I thought heretofore were impossible.

How do you explain Jose Lima winning 13 games this season? A miracle.

How do you explain trading away left-handed-hitting Dave Roberts, a base stealer, and going with Cesar Izturis, maybe the worst left-handed hitter in baseball since Tom Lasorda posted a career .071 batting average, only to find he has developed into one of the best leadoff men in baseball? A miracle.

How do you explain Milton Bradley not getting thrown out of a game since he promised he would never get thrown out of another game? A miracle.

How do you explain Saturday’s 9-5 loss to the San Francisco Giants? A travesty.

A travesty, of course, for the Dodgers, because the Micro Manager had short reliever and rookie Yhency Brazoban stretched thin at 41 pitches, but the makings of a miracle for the Giants, who continue to hound the Dodgers despite lacking such things as quality starting pitchers, quality relief pitchers, quality fielders and quality hitters other than Barry Bonds.

“We’ve played 155 games and it comes down now to the final seven,” Lima said, and when I told him there were eight remaining, he lost it -- again.

“There you go again being negative,” Lima groused, and while I was just trying to be accurate, I had no idea the Dodgers were so uptight at the prospect of playing out the entire season.

*

BY BASEBALL standards it will still take a miracle for the Giants to overtake the Dodgers. (Lima pitches only one more time.)

The Giants play the final six on the road in San Diego and Los Angeles, and trail the Dodgers in the loss column by two games. The Dodgers get four games at home against the Colorado Rockies.

If the Dodgers win today and take care of business against Colorado, the Giants would have to pull off a miraculous 6-0 finish to tie the Dodgers. The daughter who can’t get a date has a better chance of getting married than that happening.

*

IF YOU are a Yankee fan, you’re mocking the Dodgers, knowing that today’s showdown with the Giants hinges on the pitching of Jeff Weaver, a.k.a. the Flake, who crumbled under big-time pressure a year ago in New York.

But, then again, if you’re a Yankee fan, you’re hoping Kevin Brown returns today against Boston and everything goes right so Mr. Grumpy doesn’t throw another tantrum and knock himself out of the playoffs.

Funny how this works, but today’s baseball excitement from coast to coast was made possible by former Dodger general manager Dan Evans, who engineered the money-saving trade that sent Brown to New York for Weaver.

The new GM, Paul DePodesta, of course, also deserves a lot of credit for making this season so exciting for the Giants, who never figured to have a chance of catching the Dodgers once L.A. landed Hee-Seop Choi. The Giants trailed the Dodgers by 4 1/2 games on July 29, 5 1/2 on July 30 and 8 1/2 as of Aug. 11.

The Giants are now 1 1/2 back. “It was a fun game for the Giant fans,” Bradley said. “But when we leave here, regardless of what happens, we’ll be in first place. Then we go home, get Colorado and have the chance to close it out on our field.”

Edwin Jackson pitches Monday, and Kaz Ishii on Tuesday for the Dodgers, and I guess the Giants aren’t the only ones counting on a miracle when it comes to winning down the stretch.

*

ON THE subject of miracles, what are the chances of the Dodgers getting any offense out of David Ross or Jason Grabowski? Since the trade of Paul Lo Duca to Florida, Ross is hitting .148, and Grabowski, one of the team’s primary pinch-hitters, is hitting .143 during August and September. And to think I used to make fun of F.P. Santangelo.

*

TWO FRIENDS, Edwin Rodriguez and John Otoya, made the trip here to see the game, Rodriguez wearing a Giant jersey and a daring Otoya an Eric Gagne Dodger jersey. What are the chances we will ever see a Dodger fan wearing a Brazoban jersey before DePodesta gets around to trading him?

*

HEADLINE ACROSS the top of the sports page in the San Francisco Chronicle after Shawn Green’s homer led to a win Friday night: “Dodgers’ holiday.”

Sign in the Dodger clubhouse before Saturday’s game: “Win one for the kippur.”

Sign in the Dodger clubhouse after the loss: “Optional batting practice [Sunday].”

I wonder if Ross and Grabowski will show up.

*

THE SCOREBOARD read: “Thelma Reeves, 88, first ever Giants’ game.” And she probably went home thinking: “You should never pitch to Pedro Feliz.”

*

TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from L. McCabe:

“Dear impoverished Jim Murray wannabe. Jim Murray happened to be a brilliant cynic, as well as a superior writer. You are a bush league, cheap imitation, at best. I only read you to see what totally, off-the-wall, unimaginative, and unfunny piece of [junk] you’ve come up with this time.”

I’m sure Murray would say the same thing: “Thanks for reading.”

*

Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.