This Is Why Tennis Isn’t the American Pastime

I thought it might be a good writing exercise, as well as a personal challenge, to go to a tennis tournament that’s being covered by Sports Editor Bill Dwyre, and not trash either one of them.

I arrived early to beat the crowd. OK, so I’m joking, but now you can see how difficult it’s going to be to pull this off.

The first thing I did was take a look at the men’s and the women’s draw for the Pacific Life Open, obviously giddy with excitement until I noticed it read like a hockey roster: 192 names and only 31 representing the United States.

You’ve got Kuznetsova, Dementieva, Linetskaya, Zuluaga, Fujiwara and Kutuzova in the final 16 women here, and I’ll betcha they can’t even tell each other apart.

I’ve got nothing against foreigners -- OK, so maybe the British because I’ve got two bloody cackling birds sitting behind me in the media room here -- but I would think if you’re going to have a big tournament on U.S. soil, you’d find a few more Americans who can play tennis.

We certainly have our share of rich people, who in some cases breed little brats who get to play tennis all day long at the local country club in between private lessons. But where are they? Seventeen of the top 100 men’s tennis players in the world are from Spain; seven from the U.S.

I decided to investigate, certainly a sacrifice on my part, because I would be unable to watch the tennis being played while I made the rounds.

I began at the office of Charlie Pasarell, the tournament director, but instead I got an ice-cold secretary who told me Pasarell was going to be in meetings for the next three days. It’s not a good sign when the tournament director locks himself behind closed doors and refuses to come out while the tournament is being played.

USTA President Franklin Johnson returned a call, even though I’d left a message asking about the future of U.S. tennis. The guy has guts.

“I think 31 U.S. players is quite good here,” Johnson said (I didn’t say he made a lot of sense). “Tennis is the most international sport there is. Look to the future for China’s effort to pay off, and Eastern Europe.”

That would suggest fewer than 31 Americans here in the future.

I called Billie Jean King’s publicist, because she’s on a committee to develop junior talent, but he said she wouldn’t be here until Thursday to discuss World Team Tennis. I thought about canceling my trip to Las Vegas, but asked if King might call instead, and if she ever does, I’ll let you know.

I asked ESPN analyst Patrick McEnroe about the lack of U.S. talent in relation to the rest of the world, and who better to ask than the captain of the U.S. Davis Cup team, who just got waxed?

“We’ve got to do a better job of developing young talent,” McEnroe said, “or maybe coaches. Our players need to get hungrier, train harder. We are struggling. We have football, basketball, baseball, and tennis is not on that list. In the rest of the world, though, tennis is right there with soccer.”

Gosh, it must be a drag to live elsewhere in the world.

“There’s no system in this country to find young talent and develop it,” said Robert Lansdorp, former coach of Tracy Austin, Pete Sampras, Lindsay Davenport and now working with Maria Sharapova. “You give me 100 youngsters age 8-9 who love tennis, and you give me seven years and you’ll see changes. If you don’t develop such a system, you come back here in 2012 and it will still be a sport dominated by international players.”

You’ve got a date; I’ll be back here in 2012.

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WHEN SHAQUILLE O’Neal is quoted in the morning newspaper saying, “I enjoy the fact that I’m playing with a bunch of guys that play the game the way it’s supposed to be played,” and “This is like the first time ... where I could say I’ve been on a good team where everybody was on the same page,” it seems to me that’s more an indictment of Coach Phil Jackson than you know who.

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FOR SOMEONE who said he should have never opened his mouth in the first place, trainer Jeff Mullins just wouldn’t shut up over the weekend, appearing on a variety of horse racing-friendly radio and TV shows.

Mullins told one radio interviewer, “The words came out of my mouth,” all right, when he referred to racing fans as either “[gambling] addicts or idiots.”

But then he claimed they were delivered because Page 2 followed him from the track to his barn, picked at him, he was having a bad day, Page 2 is a pain in the ... (and, well, no one is going to argue that), he lost his temper and when he called bettors “addicts and idiots” he was really talking about Page 2. He also slipped in an apology.

Rather than challenge Mullins, which probably explains why he had such difficulty in dealing with a challenging interview for the first time in his life, the radio host told Mullins he had talked to another trainer, and the trainer had referred to Mullins as one of the best in the business. There was love in the air.

Mullins apparently faced no disciplinary action from Santa Anita stewards, despite his attack on the paying public who frequent the track.

Horse racing is already working hard to separate itself from the general public, and I know this, I’ll write about hockey before I write another word about racing.

That will come as good news, of course, to Mullins and others who have deceived the public, but more important, it will be great news for everyone else who doesn’t care to read anything more about horse racing.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from Dandy Don:

“Can you up your March Madness bets for the benefit of Mattel’s Children’s Hospital at UCLA to $11 a game? Just tell me where to send my $50.”

I’m told an $11 winning wager in Las Vegas returns a total of $21 for the benefit of the kids, rather than something like $20 and change. The concept of winning in Las Vegas is still something new to me.

Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.