How’re They Going to Live This Down on the Farm?

Postscript from Palo Alto, or is it Pluto Alto?

Analysts for a Hoover think tank Sunday announced that it probably would be fiscally unwise for Stanford fans to purchase Rose Bowl ticket options for this year’s national-title game.

Stanford’s historic loss to UC Davis -- the school kindly asks that you not refer to it as Cal State Davis, Davis State or UC Ann B. Davis -- pretty much takes the “top” in this weekend’s topsy-turvy.

First off, it’s difficult to make your lips move to form the words: “UC Davis 20, Stanford 17.”

If Pop Warner (Stanford coach circa 1924-32) were alive, well, might he organize a youth league featuring current Stanford players?

There have been notable college football upsets -- Temple at Virginia Tech in 1998 pops immediately to mind.

Last year, Maine shocked Mississippi State in Starkville.

UC Davis over Stanford, though, may beat all.

“The stars all lined up right,” Aggie Coach Bob Biggs said in a phone interview Sunday.

Consider the absurdity of this outcome:

UC Davis is in its third year of a four-year transitional upgrade from Division II to Division I-AA status. The Aggies entered Saturday’s game at the Farm having already lost to New Hampshire and Portland State.

Stanford is one year (this week) removed from almost having defeated No. 1 USC, blowing an 11-point third-quarter lead over the eventual national champs.

A year ago, Sept. 24, 2004, on the same Stanford Stadium sod where UC Davis celebrated, USC had to execute a perfect fourth-quarter drive to eke out a 31-28 win, scoring the game-winner with 6:15 left on LenDale White’s two-yard touchdown run.

Forget six degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon.

We’re talking an eyelash separating UC Davis from having defeated a team that should have defeated USC.

“On paper, are we better than Stanford?” Biggs asked. “Heavens no.

UC Davis, long a caldron of football and intellectual stew, was once a Division II powerhouse under ex-coach and Zen-master Jim Sochor.

But the Aggies are -- let’s be honest -- still filling out their I-AA paperwork.

UC Davis is a member of the newly minted Great West Conference and its schedule this year includes games against Southern Utah, Northern Colorado and some other territories -- North and South Dakota State, Eastern Washington -- that read more like the Lewis and Clark expedition map.

Biggs was the UC Davis quarterback in 1971 when his team scored 16 points in the final 20 seconds to beat Cal State Hayward in a game known as the “Miracle Win.”

So where does Saturday’s miracle rank?

“This has to be the biggest win, just when you look at the odds, when you look at the programs, and what emphasis is put on the programs, all those sorts of things,” Biggs said.

There is no explaining this game away, other than to say it wasn’t what first-year Stanford Coach Walt Harris had in mind for a home opener.

UC Davis has only 35 scholarships; Stanford is allowed 85 under NCAA rules.

Maybe, in hindsight, Stanford should have scheduled a softer I-AA opponent -- we’re thinking Dartmouth, coached by Buddy Teevens, the man Stanford fired to get to Harris.

Although Stanford opened with a road win against Navy, it clearly was outmatched in Game 2. UC Davis held Stanford to 180 total yards and did not allow an offensive touchdown.

The Cardinal turned Aggie quarterback Jon Grant into the second coming of Joe Montana.

As he prepared to engineer the game-winning drive, Grant ducked his head into the huddle with less than three minutes to go and said, “What better stage could we be on? We’re at Stanford Stadium. Let’s play.”

If you’re a Stanford fan and think the school ought to just tear down the venerable (vulnerable?) stadium in this ugly aftermath, well, major stadium renovation already was scheduled to begin Nov. 26.

Reconstruction of the football program begins immediately.

Weekend Wrap

Life at USC without offensive coordinator Norm Chow through two games: 133 points, 1,254 total yards, 17 offensive touchdowns. ...

You could have won lunch betting that Washington and Oklahoma would both be 1-2 ....

Total attendance for UCLA and USC home games: 146,933. ...

Looking ahead: The last time USC and UCLA were both highly ranked when they met was 1988, when the second-ranked Trojans defeated the sixth-ranked Bruins, 31-22. This year, UCLA plays at USC on Dec. 3. The question: Which team has the better chance of being undefeated entering that game?

USC’s toughest remaining games are on the road: at Oregon, at Arizona State, at California, at Notre Dame. UCLA misses Oregon this season and gets Arizona State and California at home ....

And you wonder why people go nuts over the polls: Notre Dame goes from unranked to No. 10 after defeating Pittsburgh (now 0-3) and Michigan. Then, Michigan State defeats Notre Dame in South Bend and Notre Dame drops to No. 16 in Sunday’s Associated Press poll, one slot ahead of ... Michigan State! The USA Today coaches’ poll has Notre Dame at No. 18 and Michigan State at No. 22.

UCLA deserved better from the media than No. 25 after its breakthrough win against Oklahoma. Should not the Bruins have been slotted into the No. 21 hole Oklahoma occupied last week? Victories by Oregon and UCLA and poll “holds” by USC, Cal and Arizona State give the Pacific 10 Conference five teams ranked in the AP top 25.