Not Even Mr. N.W. Tree Could Ax This Credit Card Offer

The “What’s New” file of snopes.com, website of the San Fernando Valley Folklore Society, examined this claim: Did a bank issue a credit card to a tree? Verdict: Absolutely.

What happened was that Beverly Hills real estate agent Gary More, sick of being bombarded by junk mail, returned a credit card application from Chase Visa. “Never waste a tree,” he scrawled on it. And, yup, a few days later he received a card issued to the honorable “Never Waste Tree” (see photo).

More told me Monday that, after KNBC-TV Channel 4 ran a spot on the incident, he received a hoax phone call from someone posing as a bank employee.

“She said, ‘We’re going to cut off your [obscenity] branch,’ ” More recalled with a laugh.

Unreal estate: Real estate values are so inflated that Gabriel and Ruth De La Parra of La Mirada found a home for barnyard animals selling for almost $900,000 (see accompanying).

Good news for high school dropouts: Ralph Merrill of Long Beach read about a mysterious police campaign directed against those with college degrees (see accompanying).

San Dangerfield: With all its other problems, San Diego’s cuisine turns out to be not so haute.

“Mobil gave our city just one 4-diamond restaurant award this year -- for Laurel,” San Diego magazine said in an interview with popular local restaurateur George Hauer. “Last year, Zagat decided we no longer merited an exclusive San Diego guide. When it comes to dining, is San Diego the Rodney Dangerfield of major cities? Why?”

Hauer responded that, alas, San Diego dining was not better than it was given credit for. And why not? Explained Hauer: “The food culture in San Diego probably started only six or seven years ago.”

Well, San Diego was settled by Europeans in 1769, but better late than never!

Caught red-, blue-, green- and black-handed: Patrolling a construction area that was having graffiti problems, Redondo Beach police made a 3:45 a.m. arrest of a man driving away from the site.

Officers “found that the driver had a large amount of paint on his clothes and body,” the Beach Reporter said.

The man also had a respirator mask and 44 cans of spray paint in his car. And there was new graffiti at the construction site. Other than that, the evidence was skimpy.

miscelLAny: What will they think of next? Todd Terres of Camarillo was amazed to read one detail in a local newspaper account about a trucker involved in a crash.

“Blood tests showed he had not been using alcohol or drugs and was not using his cellphone,” the article said.

At last! A blood test that can determine whether a motorist has been gabbing on a cell!

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.