Desperate Times for Desperate Teams

The Clippers are talking to the Minnesota Timberwolves, who want Chris Wilcox, The Times has learned.

Actually it wasn’t The whole Times, it was only me, and I learned it by reading it somewhere.

Of course, Jason Reid of our staff says the Clippers are talking to the Nets. J.A. Adande says it’s the Bulls, which is looney tunes, although I’d better not tell anyone that. I’m still apologizing to Jay for calling him a bozo for saying the Clippers should have drafted Mike Bibby over Michael Olowokandi eight years ago and he still isn’t over it.

Bill Plaschke says he doesn’t know where Wilcox is going but to put him down for any hole in our scenarios because he’s a team guy. T.J. Simers says whatever Bill says, he disagrees with it.

So whatever happens, we’ll have had it first. Not that you care, but we’ll be happy to announce that too, to show all our media friends who’s the best, along with the actual news, of course.

It’s true, things are a little fluid in the NBA these days with half the teams bordering on, or well into, desperation and most of their players available.

The logjam ended when Ron Artest went to the Kings -- after reports he was headed for the Clippers, Warriors and Timberwolves, which is par for the course these days. With the Feb. 23 deadline looming, everyone is ready to rock and roll, even if most of the deals are of the Lonny Baxter-Keith Bogans variety.

Here’s how it looks in order of desperation:

New York -- Isiah Thomas is set up to take the fall, Larry Brown is set to swap out his roster for a new one and the players have quit to await developments. Antonio Davis’ parting shot (“Larry and Isiah, they need to get on the same page. Is the team going younger or older? What are they doing?”) didn’t help Thomas.

Denver -- The Nuggets finished last season 25-4, started this one 25-24 and lost Nene, who was ticketed for Boston along with Earl Watson for Paul Pierce, in the opener. With Watson in demand, they’re trying to dump Kenyon Martin, his sore knee and his big contract (this season plus five, worth $76 million) in the deal. Martin, attitudinal in the best of times, is out of his gourd, stomping off before the end of a game, sending a friend into the stands to threaten a heckler in another. Steve Francis would be good. But the Nuggets want to dump Martin’s money to avoid a big luxury-tax levy.

Boston -- They’re nowhere with Pierce, but GM Danny Ainge knows trading him is like proclaiming a new Dark Ages and is desperately trying to see if he can make this work.

Chicago -- GM John Paxson knew the Bulls would take a step back, but this is more like starting over. After deciding Eddy Curry was too much of a risk, the Bulls are so small, they’re looking at Cleveland’s clueless Drew Gooden.

Golden State -- GM Chris Mullin might as well have gambled on Artest, because this isn’t working. Baron Davis and Jason Richardson are the launch twins. Davis is at odds with Mike Dunleavy Jr., who complained about “street ball.” The Warriors were the favorites to land Artest with a lot of players others liked -- Dunleavy, Ike Diogu and Mickael Pietrus -- but now must think of something else.

Cleveland -- Meet LeBron James’ supporting cast: Zydrunas Ilgauskas. Larry Hughes is out. Donyell Marshall and Damon Jones are shooting below 40%. Gooden, an upcoming free agent, wants a lot of money, making him the logical one to go.

Philadelphia -- With four coaches in four seasons, GM Billy King is stuck with Mo Cheeks, the worst of the four, and has to think of something else to revive the flatlining 76ers.

Orlando -- Francis doesn’t fit in what is now a rebuilding project. Happily, the Magic can blame Mr. Hockey, former GM John Weisbrod, if all they have left from the Tracy McGrady deal is Kelvin Cato.

Portland -- Nate McMillan doesn’t intend to keep all these knuckleheads, so Darius Miles is available along with the knuckleheads’ elder statesman, Ruben Patterson.

Miami -- Pat Riley’s team still isn’t as good as Stan Van Gundy’s was last season because of Riley’s deals. After Riles’ recent call to arms (“Shaq is in shape. ... Enough talk about learning each other and coming together. It’s time to put up and play.”), Shaquille O’Neal scored 11 points in an embarrassing rout at New Jersey. Riley must be thinking, “We’re paying $100 million for this?”

Toronto -- With Chris Bosh in play, the Raptors have to hope Coach Sam Mitchell, whom Bosh endorsed, wins enough games to persuade him to sign an extension this summer. A lot depends on re-signing point guard Mike James, who may get other offers.

Minnesota -- With Kevin Garnett looking more unhappy by the day, the Timberwolves made their move but are only 3-7 since getting Ricky Davis, Marcus Banks and Mark Blount. Blount, who makes $7 million, is currently backing up 6-foot-8 Mark Madsen at center.

Seattle -- Going with kids, so anyone over 25 is available except Ray Allen.

New Jersey -- Marc Jackson, whom the Nets signed instead of Shareef Abdur-Rahim, is a dud, leaving them small and shallow up front.

Lakers -- They could have had Artest for Odom -- and I don’t see what they had to lose. Forget about that loss to the Bobcats; take away Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson and they are the Bobcats.

Management insists this is a promising nucleus, but Odom’s average has actually dropped every month. Kwame Brown doesn’t do much and doesn’t even do it consistently.

With Artest’s opt-out in 2008, they could have preserved the guts of their salary-cap strategy, just deferring it one season. It was a gamble, but that’s what they do when they’re not in denial.

Faces And Figures

It’s heartwarming watching everyone in Boston count their blessings, as they dwindle to none. While Ainge insists they’re “one move away from being a team that can contend in the conference,” Pierce says even if they aren’t much, they really get along. “You see on most of the teams that go through these types of struggles, there’s a lot of arguing, a lot of finger-pointing, a lot of things said in the media that maybe they don’t mean,” Pierce said. “But this team, with the kind of character guys that we’ve got, we remain positive for the most part. We don’t get into that kind of stuff.” Of course, Pierce also has said he expects Ainge to move him if this keeps up, harmony notwithstanding.... Hornet Coach Byron Scott upset the Nets by acknowledging what everyone had reported for years, that the team mutinied after making two NBA Finals under him. Said Richard Jefferson: “If I say no, he’s a liar. If I say yeah, we’re a bunch of.... Is there a proper answer to that?” Try: Yes. ... Larry Brown after acquiring Jalen Rose but before Rose couldn’t get the ball inbounds and took a five-count at the end of an 85-82 loss to the Clippers: “We’ve had a hard time managing the clock, making basketball decisions. His experience and his feel for the game will help the young kids.” New York insider: Not if he can’t get the ball inbounds, he won’t.

Much as I hate to agree with Rasheed Wallace on anything, I winced when Mike Dunleavy had his players repeatedly foul Ben Wallace in the Clipper loss at Detroit. Actually, I hope Dunleavy gets to do it to Ben in the Finals so David Stern will finally end this farce. ... Rasheed, a hater’s hater, makes no secret of his dislike of Dunleavy, his coach in Portland. Asked what he yelled at him after making two late three-pointers, Rasheed said, “Obscenities.” ... Michael Jordan on Bryant’s 81: “Anybody can go out and take a lot of shots and end up with 81 points but if you lose, who cares? He was in a great rhythm and went out and played well, so you have to commend him for that. If I were on the other side, there would be no way I would have been able to be in that game without six fouls.” ... Riley, pooh-poohing any LeBron James-Dwyane Wade rivalry: “The only reason there’s a rivalry is because the media has created two icons, very young icons. I don’t think there’s any kind of rivalry yet. Rivalries are born out of hate and I don’t think players today in this league have a dislike for each other anymore. There’s just too much backslapping and hugging and all that stuff.” ... As Laker coach, Riley told Magic Johnson to keep his distance from his close friend, Thomas, helping precipitate their exchange of shoves in the 1988 Finals. ... Utah’s Greg Ostertag, the most colorful non-factor of all time, was suspended by Coach Jerry Sloan and upon returning, smashed the Jazz play-by-play man’s courtside TV. Before the next game, the announcers put bubble wrap on their new set.