It’s not wine and roses, but there are creampuffs

MY FIRST thought, of course, is always with Jeanie.

And so being a sucker for romance and knowing the Lakers were going to play a creampuff in the form of the Knicks, I thought about proposing -- and right now at the very mention of that word I’m sure Jeanie’s heart just took a beat.

I thought about proposing to Phil he take the night off, maybe just roll the ball onto the floor since it was the Knicks, then get away for a nice cozy, private Valentine’s Day eve dinner with his sweetheart and beat the crowd.

But then I realized when Phil’s teams play creampuffs such as the Knicks, they usually take the night off too, and how would it look if no one showed up to compete against New York?

Now I’m beginning to understand why Jeanie has given up all hope of getting a ring -- what with her man having to work all the time even when it’s not necessary.

I TOLD Phil before the game I had come to the conclusion he was doing a good job of coaching this season, but then advised him I had changed my mind. As good a year as the Lakers have been having, just imagine where they might be if they beat all the teams they are supposed to beat -- and shouldn’t the best coach the NBA has ever had make sure that happens?

Go ahead and “throw some of the blame on me; I have big shoulders,” he said, and he sure does.

I hang on Phil’s every word, of course, so when he said, “I’ve told this story before,” I couldn’t wait to get one of his old stories again. What a treat.

He said back in the day when he played for the Knicks, they played the infamous 9-73 Philadelphia 76ers, who picked up two of their nine wins against New York, which would go on to win the NBA title.

I think he was trying to make the point that there is no rhyme or reason to why a good team falls to the likes of a crummy team.

Just one problem, and you could look it up. The Knicks lost to the 76ers just once, finishing the season 6-1 against them.

Now I’m guessing someone on the Lakers had already beaten me to it and looked it up. And that might explain the team’s lackluster results against crummy teams -- Phil pulling out the old story before taking on those teams and everyone in the locker room just rolling their eyes and muttering, “Yeah, right, who is he trying to fool?”

Might be time to tell a few new stories if the Lakers are going to win every game they can this season.

WHEN IT came time to talk to John Amaechi on the father/daughter gabfest on 570 with Uncle Fred, instead of questioning him about recent revelations and his sexual orientation, I asked him if he was nuts.

Amaechi confirmed the report the Lakers offered him a six-year, $29-million contract offer in 2000 to be Shaquille O’Neal’s backup, and he turned it down -- despite a call from Shaq urging him to sign -- and signed a one-year, $600,000 contract to remain in Orlando.

He said Orlando had given him his first break, and at a time when no one else would, and while he said the Lakers deal meant everything to him in validating his struggles to become a big-time player, he had given his word to Orlando.

“Now when someone wants to know what my word is worth,” he said, “I can tell them [close to] $30 million.”

DEADSPIN.COM REPORTED Bears’ quarterback Rex Grossman was a visitor at the Palms Fantasy Tower recently and was joined by two Playmates.

“They were playing blackjack,” Deadspin reported, and then they all moved to the craps table. “There, Grossman took out one of the Playmates’ eyes with the dice.”

LAKERS ASSISTANT coach Kurt Rambis said he has been contacted about succeeding retiring Santa Clara basketball coach Dick Davey, and the Santa Clara alum said he’s considering it and has been told there’s no rush to make a decision.

Jackson has one more year remaining on his Lakers contract, which will probably be extended two or three more. That seems like a long time to ask Santa Clara to wait before Rambis finds out whether he’ll be the guy to succeed Jackson.

TWENTY-SOME days after the Spanos Goofs announced they were not firing Chargers’ Coach Marty Schottenheimer, they announced they were.

Ha, ha, ha.

“San De-ago Sup-er Chargers, San De-ago Sup-er Chargers!”

The guy the Chargers would have probably picked to succeed Schottenheimer 20-some days ago had they gone ahead and fired him, Wade Phillips, left four or five days ago to become head coach of the Dallas Cowboys.

Ha, ha, ha.

Schottenheimer went 14-2, but didn’t get along with General Manager A.J. Smith. The Spanos Goofs, while aware of the situation for some time, allowed it to fester.

Ten years ago, Bobby Ross compiled a 50-36 record, including a trip to the Super Bowl with the Chargers, but didn’t get along with General Manager Bobby Beathard. The Spanos Goofs, while aware of the situation, allowed it to fester.

Schottenheimer is out, and Ross left the Chargers for Detroit. The Chargers compiled a 23-57 record in the five years that followed Ross’ departure. The Chargers were 35-13 under Schottenheimer the last three years, and while in great position to advance now in the playoffs -- they’ll have to get there first under some new guy.

“San De-ago Sup-er Chargers ... we’ve got a plan, we’re gonna do it for our super fans.”

Ha, ha, ha.

Those poor people who live down there -- how they do suffer.

THE INJURIES continue to mount, and the NBA seems to be replacing All-Stars every day. The latest to drop out of the game are Allen Iverson and Steve Nash. Two hundred and forty five more, and Smush Parker might be getting a call for the All-Star game.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.