Speaking softly? No, but this officer was chewing a stick

Trash-talking during a high-speed chase?

The Daily Nexus, UC Santa Barbara’s newspaper, reports that it occurred in Isla Vista after a young man was stopped for drinking in public. He fled, whereupon an officer pursued, yelling, “ ‘Stop! Police! I’m right behind you and I’m still chewing my gum!’ ”

It was, the newspaper said, “Another way of telling the subject that he could not outrun the I.V. Foot Patrol.”

He didn’t. Of course, he didn’t help his chances by running into a backyard whose walls he couldn’t scale.

Don’t know much about geography: I hope members of the American Philatelic Society are bringing swim trunks to the AmeriStamp Expo next month. The society’s bulletin locates Riverside, site of the get-together, in the Pacific Ocean, points out Michael Tedjasukmana of L.A. (see accompanying).

Of course, Riverside could use some ocean breezes in the summer.

The magic words: In Greenland, Marygene Wright of Whittier encountered an eatery that knew just what terms to put on its signage to attract Americans (see photo).

Adventures in the English language: Possibly the most noteworthy accomplishment of Brad Pitt’s acting career is that he tore his Achilles tendon while playing the part of Achilles in the 2004 movie “Troy.”

By doing so, he earned a mention in the just-published “Big Book of Irony,” by Jon Winokur of Pacific Palisades.

The witty author points out that irony has many definitions (which may be ironic; I’m not sure).

A sign whose meaning is contrary to its words could be ironic -- for example, a boastful marquee with a spelling error (see photo).

Or an irony could be the “incongruity between what is expected and what actually happens,” as when Will Rogers observed, “Half of our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through trying to save.”

Perhaps my favorite anecdote in the book is the account of the tightly wound Richard Nixon saying on one White House tape that the affable Ronald Reagan “just isn’t pleasant to be around.”

Richard Nixon, ironist.

miscelLAny: Perusing a Santa Fe Springs brochure, Barry Nackos of Los Angeles discovered to his surprise that the city no longer fixes potholes.

Oh, sure, it repairs those bone-jarring chasms in the streets. But the city now describes such as operations as “pavement rehabilitation.”

In Southern California, even streets go into rehab.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.