There are two wrongs he is trying to make right

BEFORE I get to the Kobester, Erin Andrews, Angels fans and the hypocrites they are -- I’ve got to admit to making some mistakes here.

Obviously it’s a totally new experience, so I thought I’d call an expert, someone who gets it wrong all the time, like ESPN’s Ric Bucher, and find out what to do when appearing so clueless.

Bucher, the joker that he can be, said Bryant would never again play in a Lakers uniform.

“I honestly got that wrong,” he said, and he’s got that right.

“I’m a reporter,” he said, and I said I’d take his word for it. “Sometimes we’ve got guys on air who want to know when I’m done reporting, ‘yes or no,’ is he going to be traded?”

So “yes or no,” I asked, is Kobe going to be dealt before the trading deadline? Or maybe swap uniforms at halftime of tonight’s game with Chicago?

“No, I don’t think he’ll be traded before the deadline,” Bucher said, and I can only imagine the panic in the streets of L.A. -- knowing this probably means Kobe is already on his way out of town if Bucher has him staying here the rest of the year.

It sounded as if Bucher had the Lakers willing to take two cents on the dollar a few weeks back with Ron Artest and Ben Wallace coming to L.A. in exchange for the Kobester in a three-team trade that never happened.

Bucher said he could explain, and I would certainly hope so.

This week he was on the radio wondering when Detroit was going to make a move for the Kobester, a day later a Detroit radio station taking Bucher’s suggestion a step further and reporting the Lakers and Pistons had signed off on a deal only to have it rejected by Bryant.

It appears none of it was true, and Bucher was the wrong guy to blame, but he’ll probably be wrong again, so it’s good practice to put it on him.

You would think he would always be right because he has Kobe’s ear. In some media circles he’s known as “Kobe’s mouthpiece.” He said Saturday, “yes” he could call Kobe right now, and “yes” Kobe would take Bucher’s call. That puts him in a very small media circle.

So earlier when Bucher had the Kobester never again playing in a Lakers uniform -- one might guess where he was getting his information, which would then make Kobe as wrong as Bucher.

By way of comparison, of course, my mistakes seem minor to Bucher & Bryant, “but the thing is you’ve got to ‘fess up,” Bucher said when you’re wrong, so here goes.

This week I had A-Rod a lock to go to the Angels. But I was wrong -- about Arte Moreno. And all this time I’ve been blaming Bill Stoneman for doing nothing.

The Angels had the chance to bring the best baseball player in our lifetime -- and maybe ever -- to Anaheim to hit behind Vladimir Guerrero. They should have had a plane waiting for him the day free agency officially opened. But Moreno, like everyone else, stood back waiting for the price to drop -- A-Rod getting worried that no one wanted him and crawling back to the Yankees.

Most folks are happy agent Scott Boras took it on the chin, but keep that in mind when you’re hoping and praying this August that Juan Rivera can come through with the big bop.

What do we care if Moreno spends $30 million a year on A-Rod? Not our money, but it was the Angels’ best chance to become a real powerhouse -- instead of hoping Figgy steals second, moves to third on a ball hit to the right side and then scores on a sacrifice fly.

NOW AS wrong as I was about Moreno, I made an even bigger mistake this week. I went to a hockey game.

Someone handed me a hockey press release, I glanced at it and then made mention in the newspaper that they got only 65 submissions in a silly contest asking fans to give the Ducks-Kings’ rivalry a name.

I misread the press release, though, obviously not having much experience reading anything about hockey. They apparently got a number of submissions -- 65 alone from fans naming the rivalry the “Freeway Face-Off.”

I was wrong, all right -- in thinking it was the people from Nebraska who had no life.

AS FOR Erin Andrews, ESPN’s football reporter, she caught Moreno on the Arizona sideline the other night.

At first she seemed to take Moreno’s breath away, Moreno struggling to answer questions about A-Rod and the indictment of Barry Bonds.

Moreno then seemed to suggest that Bonds’ indictment was a good thing for baseball, contributing to the game’s efforts to clean itself up.

I go back to Mr. HGH’s problems, though, once he arrived here. Gary Matthews Jr.’s name was linked to HGH, and Moreno made a big deal about Matthews coming clean with the fans. Matthews took several weeks to think of something to say, finally spoke, but in effect -- said nothing.

He never has explained why he ordered HGH or what he did with it, but Moreno and Angels fans accepted his whitewash statement because he was a good player and the controversy went away.

If Matthews, who met with the commissioner recently to explain himself, gets a free ride from Angels fans, is that any different from Giants’ fans cheering Bonds? How can Angels fans applaud Bonds’ indictment but not demand a better explanation from Matthews?

Bonds has been found guilty of nothing. He only looks guilty right now. I might add, so does Mr. HGH.

OH ME, oh my -- today’s last word comes as Great News.

Last season, Ralph Lawler, the voice of the Clippers for 29 years now, learned he had prostate cancer. With approval from his doctor, Lawler continued to call the Clippers games from start to finish a year ago before undergoing surgery on May 30.

“I met a very special person in Dr. Thomas Ahlering at the UCI Medical Center,” Lawler said. “I don’t owe my life to him, but then I may very well from now on. Let me tell you, I feel just great.”

Lawler worked his 2,199th Clippers’ game Saturday night.

He’s a survivor, all right.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.