It might be time for him to join Optimist Club

I begin today’s column with Monday morning’s last word from Mr. Schmidt: “Try and find the positive side of at least one story. It will make you a happier person.”

So I slept on it the other day, waking up late in the morning to a great day, Dan Patrick almost done with his radio show and the Angels calling it quits early so I could play golf.

It’s good to live in the L.A. area, I squealed to myself, and so this is what it feels like to be Channel 7 weatherman Dallas Raines.

We’re not doing so badly around here, are we? Our Dodgers once again won more games than they lost, UCLA isn’t looking at Stanford down the road and USC is only two wins away from becoming bowl-eligible again.

Talk about being a happier person, I’m giddy-happy for the Parking Lot Attendant, what with his favorite baseball team still alive to win it all.

“And what about Chivas?” said Frank Pace, my golfing partner, and producer of the George Lopez show.

Now I have no idea what Pace’s favorite brand of scotch might have to do with finding the positive side of a story, but I was willing to give it a try.

“The soccer team,” Pace said, which certainly explains why someone might be driven to drink, but I think I’ll just wait 12 months for Elton Brand to be back, and then it’s “Happy Days Are Here Again” for everyone in town.

That’s right, with a song in my heart, we’re darn lucky to have Tim Thomas in a Clippers uniform after all the teams that he’s been with. But I’ve got to tell you, it took someone from Nebraska to remind me the glass really is half full around here.

After USC made Saturday’s game with Stanford so darn exciting, and good for our boys, Maria Rodriguez e-mailed to say, “Your petty, arrogant Nebraska articles look really silly now.”

All this time I thought my petty, arrogant Nebraska articles had just sailed right over the corncob heads of those poor people living in the middle of nowhere. I figured it was just like writing a hockey column for people here.

But had I looked on the bright side, recalling how slow those folks really were to catch on to anything, I might have known that one day they might finally grasp how silly those articles were intended to be.

And sure enough, “Daisy wants to know who’s your favorite team now?” wrote farmer Linda Wuebben after USC’s loss.

Holy cow, they do get it.

THE CLIPPERS are undefeated, and amazingly enough, so are the Lakers, even though the Kobester doesn’t think they’re any good.

Ned Colletti has yet to make a trade this off-season and Mike Scioscia will not have to apologize for giving Garret Anderson and Vladimir Guerrero all the time they need now to rest. I had no idea it was this easy to find the positive side of our local sports scene. Kwame Brown is really tall.

“You’re always negative, negative, negative about our local teams,” wrote Jenny Marlin.

It’s an interesting point, because here we have great teams such as the Dodgers, Lakers and Angels, but if you read the newspaper, it sounds as if they never win championships anymore.

Or take our local football teams, pulling off a feat that might never be duplicated again -- favored by 60, losing by a combined 15 points, and yet Page 2 makes it sound like they were less-than-memorable performances.

“Way to go, T.J.,” is the way e-mailer Bill Robinson put it. “I love the way you kick the UCLA and USC coaches and players when they’re down. How much creativity did it take to write your Sunday column?You are the classic example of the old, cynical sports writer who should have moved on to a new career years ago.”

Maybe I should have been there for Pete & Karl, reminding everyone of the wonderful things they do for people, such as improving the self-esteem of the kids playing for Stanford and Notre Dame.

“Stop kicking men while they are down,” wrote Joshua W. Farra, “You are an embarrassment to your profession.”

That’s why I’m not doing radio anymore, of course, and probably why Pete Carroll asked Tuesday, “How’s that radio show going?”

So yes, I know what it’s like to be kicked while being down, Joshua and Pete doing just that, which is why I went to the Angels’ game with every intention of not stomping on our guys while they were down. But they just wouldn’t get up.

“You such a jerk,” wrote Richard & Cindy Rosales, making it difficult to tell which one couldn’t spell. But in looking at this now from a new positive perspective, I figure it was Cindy -- Richard probably being a lot smarter than that.

IT MIGHT sound like BCS, but I prefer to look on the positive side, and USC still can win a national championship despite losing to such a pathetic team.

“Prior to Saturday, you laughed and bashed the Cardinal and ND for being pathetic,” wrote Bill Reid. “So if ND is ‘gawd-awful,’ what does that make UCLA?”

Really gawd-awful, of course, like that’s a tough question, although on the bright side, as I like to look at things now, there’s plenty of room for improvement.

“Teams are not pathetic,” Reid continued, “but perhaps some sportswriters might be.”

Keep in mind, I’m not the one who dragged Dwyre into this story.

Hey, UCLA still can win a game too. The Bruins have lots of them left. And on the positive side, which might make everyone happier, there’s always a chance of Karl Dorrell oversleeping.

“Shame on you,” wrote Ricki Breskin-Kulkin. “If you cannot say something nice about someone, maybe you should look for another job. Probably you come from a hole, and have no heart, soul or character.”

I’ve always wondered, and I don’t want this to sound negative in any way, but what happens if an e-mailer can’t say something nice about someone?

Should she look to e-mail someone else?

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.