These spirals aren’t on passes

In Latin, Rex means king.

In Chicago, Grossman means oh, no!

Yet there Rex Grossman was Sunday, coming off the bench to bring the Bears back from the brink of disaster.

After quarterback Kyle Orton was carted off because of an ankle injury against Detroit, Grossman erased a 10-point deficit -- and secured a 27-23 victory -- with two touchdown drives in the second half. It wasn’t a thing of beauty, and there were some familiar boos from the home crowd, but Grossman’s nine-for-19 performance was enough.

So, while the Bears secured first place in the NFC North, the Lions remained perfect -- a perfectly awful 0-8.

If you think that downward spiral is bad, check out Oakland’s vertical, er, vertigo offense. With about 10 minutes remaining in the third quarter against Atlanta, the Raiders had dazzled the home crowd with three -- count ‘em, three -- yards of total offense. Their only effective plays were bootleg runs by JaMarcus Russell, and they staggered away from the 24-0 pounding with only three first downs. Worse, the Raiders totaled minus-two yards in the first half, the first time in 16 years any team finished the first two quarters in the red.

It was also the first shutout in six years for the 5-3 Falcons, who already have surpassed last season’s win total.

Like the Raiders, the Denver Broncos are also sputtering. They have lost four of five after winning their first three. Since scoring 41, 39 and 34 points in the first three weeks, the Broncos have failed to score 20 points in a game.

That streak of futility started with a surprising loss at Kansas City. That happens to be the only victory for the 1-7 Chiefs, who Sunday lost in overtime to Tampa Bay.

No wonder the San Diego Chargers, despite their 3-5 start, still feel good about their chances of winning the AFC West.

The feel-good team in this region is Arizona, which beat St. Louis to widen its NFC West lead to three games. Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner, the onetime Rams star, threw for 342 yards and two touchdowns, bringing his record to 21-4 in the Edward Jones Dome.

The Dallas Cowboys sure wish they had their No. 1 quarterback, even though their problems run deeper than that. They were embarrassed Sunday by the New York Giants, 35-14, losing for the third time in four games. It was the third consecutive start for Brad Johnson, playing in place of the injured Tony Romo.

The Cowboys benched Johnson in the second half in favor of Brooks Bollinger, but that didn’t work either. His first pass was intercepted.

Still, when it comes to ineptitude, the Lions are in a class by themselves. Why? Because they have yet to win. The Cincinnati Bengals were the NFL’s only other winless team but zapped their zero with a victory over Jacksonville.

“We’re 0-8, but I think we’re a good 0-8 team, if that’s possible,” said Bengals receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh, explaining his pre-game message to the team. “I was just telling them: Are we going to the playoffs? Probably not. But we’re all men and play with pride. Basically, play with pride and let’s try to make this thing look somewhat respectable.”

Now, if that speech doesn’t give you goose bumps, well . . . you’re not alone.

Nevertheless, the Bengals finally have something to show in the left-hand column. That’s thanks in part to the two touchdowns of left-leaning receiver Chad Ocho Cinco, who didn’t follow through on his rumored celebration of unfurling a Barack Obama banner.

No matter which way it votes, Tennessee is unquestionably a blue state. Titans blue, that is. The league’s only undefeated team stayed that way, improving to 8-0 by beating Green Bay in overtime, 19-16.

The schedule didn’t favor the Titans. They were coming off a short week, having beaten Indianapolis last Monday, whereas the Packers were well rested after a week off. And Green Bay was no pushover, rolling up 390 yards, more than any Tennessee opponent this season.

The real momentum swing came in the third quarter with two turnovers by Aaron Rodgers: an interception in Tennessee’s end zone and a fumble in Green Bay territory that set up a field goal.

On a day when the Titans got to Rodgers four times, the Buffalo Bills failed to sack Brett Favre (although they did smack him around a bit) in a 26-17 loss to the New York Jets.

Favre threw one touchdown pass -- but it was in the wrong direction. Buffalo’s Jabari Greer picked off one of his throws in the fourth quarter and returned it 42 yards for a score. Other than that, nada.

“You don’t have to throw six touchdowns to win football games,” said Favre, who did just that this season. “Believe me, that win feels to me as good as any win I’ve ever been a part of.”

As a bonus, Favre finally has a win at Ralph Wilson Stadium, where he was 0-3. There are now 10 NFL venues where he hasn’t won. One of those is Texas Stadium, where Favre is 0-6 as a starter.

Surely, he’d love another crack at the Cowboys right about now.

Then again, 30 other quarterbacks could say the same.

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sam.farmer@latimes.com