TWO-MINUTE DRILL

at Miami 25, Buffalo 16: ESPN announcer steals my line, saying “Ginn was just the tonic Dolphins needed.”

Washington 25, at Detroit 17: Lions are NFL’s version of Billy Crystal-Christopher Guest “I hate when that happens” guys.

at Dallas 13, Tampa Bay 9: After game, Jessica Simpson thinks to self: “This Brad Johnson guy is sort of cute.”

New Orleans 37, San Diego 32 (at London): Best part of game: At the two-minute warning, the entire crowd broke for tea.

at Baltimore 29, Oakland 10: A confused Al Davis doesn’t care that Raiders lose, just as long as Marcus Allen doesn’t play.

at N.Y. Jets 28, Kansas City 24: Brett Favre is so excited about victory that he retires and un-retires three more times.

at New England 23, St. Louis 16: If Jim Haslett quits now, he’ll have one of the best winning percentages for a coach in Rams history.

at Carolina 27, Arizona 23: Shouldn’t this game, featuring two former NFL Europe quarterbacks, have been played in London?

at Philadelphia 27, Atlanta 14: Fans in Philadelphia faced quite a choice: Should they go boo the Eagles or the Phillies?

at Houston 35, Cincinnati 6: The 1976 Buccaneers are getting nervous, wondering when they can break open their twist-off-cap wine.

Cleveland 23, at Jacksonville 17: Maybe the Browns should try playing without Kellen Winslow more often.

N.Y. Giants 21, at Pittsburgh 14: So would a bad snap leading to a safety be the equivalent of a bases-loaded balk?

Seattle 34, at San Francisco 13: After this game, Holmgren will really start laughing at those rumors of him coaching 49ers next year.

Open date: Denver, Chicago, Green Bay, Minnesota.

-- Houston Mitchell

--

QUOTE, UNQUOTE

‘I thought it was what the fans

here wanted to see. I thought they wanted a high-scoring game.

I thought they wanted to see

the ball being thrown.’

-- Chargers’ Luis Castillo