Shaq’s starting to sound a little flaky

Shaquille O’Neal, in a shocking development, has admitted on radio that he has taken a performance-enhancing substance.

The substance comes in a brightly colored package and is available to athletes everywhere.

“I’ve told the world before, only thing I had was Frosted Flakes Super Enhancement Cereal,” O’Neal told 790 AM in Atlanta. “That’s the only thing I’ve put in my body. Frosted Flakes Athletic Performance Enhancement Cereal. . . .

“For all the little kids, the Performance Enhancement Cereal is: You take the Frosted Flakes, and you take the Froot Loops, and you mix them together, and then you get some of them sliced bananas and you put them on that thing, and then you get a big old bowl . . . the kind of bowl if you pull out your mother says, ‘Boy, you better put that bowl back!’ And then you pour that milk . . . ‘You better get a job, eating all that milk.’

“ ‘Mama, we ain’t got no milk.’

“ ‘Well, you better put some water on that, boy!’ ”

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Trivia time

When was O’Neal selected in the 1992 NBA draft?

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Parallel universe

Reader Jerry Lewi of Thousand Oaks noticed some eerie coincidences last week between the local major league teams.

Wrote Lewi: “Consider the Angels and Dodgers this week:

“1. Both playing the team that beat them in last year’s playoffs.

“2. First game: Both bullpens blow lead and lose game.

“3. Second game: Both teams win in blowout.

“4. Third game: Both teams win in extra innings in day game on a winning hit by the catcher.

“What are the odds?”

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History for sale

Seventeen years have passed since Christian Laettner made his buzzer-beating jump shot for Duke against Kentucky, and people are still making money from it.

Comcast-Spectacor, which owns the Philadelphia 76ers and the Flyers, is putting up for auction panels of the court where Laettner hit his famous shot. Laettner’s basket at the buzzer in the 1992 NCAA tournament helped Duke defeat Kentucky, 104-103, at the Spectrum and sent the Blue Devils to the Final Four.

If Rick Pitino wins the bidding, will he use the panels to roast hot dogs or marshmallows?

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Trivia answer

O’Neal was the first pick overall from Louisiana State, going to the Orlando Magic.

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And finally

David Letterman, on Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton giving the New York University commencement address at new Yankee Stadium: “She told the grads, ‘Work hard. Save your money, and one day you might be able to afford to attend a Yankees game.’ ”

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mike.penner@latimes.com