The two-minute drill

Cincinnati 23, at Cleveland 20 (OT): Carson Palmer leads Bengals to victory, wonders why they haven’t broken into AP Top 25 yet.

at Houston 29, Oakland 6: A confused Al Davis thinks loss doesn’t count because everyone knows the Houston NFL team is named “Oilers.”

at Jacksonville 37, Tennessee 17: Jaguars respond to Orlando rumors by making Titans play as if they have a Mickey Mouse defense.

at New England 27, Baltimore 21: So much for the storied Ravens defense, as somewhere Brian Billick smiles knowingly.

at Chicago 48, Detroit 24: Humble Lions wanted to make sure that all of that winning didn’t go to their heads.

at Indianapolis 34, Seattle 17: Manning may have tied Tarkenton in career touchdown passes, but he has never hosted “That’s Incredible!”

N.Y. Giants 27, at Kansas City 16: David Carr replaces Eli Manning near end of game, causing fans to say, “David Carr is still in the league?”

at Washington 16, Tampa Bay 13: Redskins motivated by President Obama’s halftime speech blaming them for Chicago losing the Olympics.

at Miami 38, Buffalo 10: Chad Henne, subbing for Chad Pennington, plays well, keeping his backups, Chad Everett and Chad Lowe, on bench.

at New Orleans 24, N.Y. Jets 10: A condescending Pete Carroll calls Mark Sanchez after game and says: “I told you so.”

at San Francisco 35, St. Louis 0: Rams misread their schedule and thought that this was their week off.

at Denver 17, Dallas 10: Cowboys are slowly being weakened by radiation emanating from the huge video scoreboard hovering over their home field.

at Pittsburgh 38, San Diego 28: Now Ben Roethlisberger can finally devote all of his attention to hosting “Monday Night Raw” tonight.

-- Houston Mitchell