Turns out they were the odd team out after all. Even after getting eights and judges’ praise across the board (and a high-10 from Carrie Ann), the couple going home in this fourth week of “Dancing With the Stars: All-Stars” competition was Bristol Palin and her pro partner, Mark Ballas.
Kudos to the young Palin and her fan base for keeping the lower-scoring all-star in the running for this long. And this way, they were able to leave on a high note: Bristol and Mark went through a whole dramatic arc the whole time they were in the competition. First, happiness to be back in the ballroom. Then there was the tension and tears and accusations. Finally, just as Mark and Bristol were able to work through their differences and come back with a rock & roll hop, they were bounced out of the competition.
And there were no tears or sadness at the results. “We made it to Week 4, and I’m happy with that,” smiled Bristol. “I put my best foot forward, and did the best that I could.”
And now the freestyle group teams picked by Gilles Marini and Peta Murgatroyd, and Shawn Johnson and Derek Hough, can stay as they were. Gilles and Peta chose Kelly Monaco and Val Chmerkovskiy, Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Emmitt Smith and Cheryl Burke, and will dance to the guilty pleasure and summer sensation “Gangnam Style” by Psy (Val just said he wants a “good-looking team. That’s all that matters.”). Shawn and Derek selected Sabrina Bryan and Louis Van Amstel, Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani, and Apolo Anton Ohno and Karina Smirnoff. They’ll dance to guilty pleasure and summer sensation “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen.
The results hour kicked off with a sexy number by our “DWTS” Troupe and pros, choreographed by Henry from the Troupe. It featured a lot of Pussycat-Doll-like gyrating, hairography and a big sheath of fabric at the beginning (Big sheaths of fabric are very “in” this season. Maybe there was a bulk discount at Mood?).
The Macy’s Stars of Dance performance was an eye-popping treat: The Legion of Extraordinary Dancers moved to what looked like was a 21st century update of “Singing in the Rain” with Jessica Kelly as the lead ballerina and accompanied by Christina Grimme singing “Titanium” on a grand piano. The LXD are always a treat to watch; they seemed to be operating with less gravity than everyone else as they flipped and slid and tumbled all over with umbrellas and crash pads and a cool confetti rain effect.
Season 9 champ Donny Osmond came back to the ballroom, teaming up with Susan Boyle and, as Tom pointed out, “making Marie nervous, I’m sure” for a duet of “This is the Moment.” This, while Tristan MacManus and Kym Johnson played the part of star-crossed lovers on the dance floor. Donny sweetly held nervous Susan’s hand throughout, and whispered what I could only imagine were words of comfort.
We were treated to a behind-the-scene tour of the “DWTS” glitterverse by Season 13 also-ran Carson Kressley. The erstwhile Queer Eye for the Straight Guy wisely kept his ID from two seasons ago, so he got an all-access pass everywhere, including the make-up trailer (“Maybe we’ll catch someone without their face on”). Carson was omnipresent, according to Tom. “I’m ubiquitous, even,” Carson shot back. “I laughed, I cried,” Carson summed up. “It was way better than ‘Cats.’”
Cheryl Burke got to show off her passion project, dancing the cha cha with five other dancers she’s known since she was 12, to a medley of classics accompanied by Tito Puente Jr. on percussion.
What do you think, ballroom fans? Did the right all-star go home this week? Think “DWTS” will ever hear from Paula Abdul again? Looking forward to guilty pleasures week?