Advertisement
Share

L.A. Affairs: I’m over coronavirus — I want my love life back

Illustration of a phone that says: Tom. 26. Goals: To go outside again someday.
1
The year is 2020. The time is quarantine o'clock. I am couch chillin' minding my own damn business. Thinking of my crush who just moved back to Oakland from L.A.

Who knows when I'll be able to see his fine self again?

We barely started talking. a few weeks into the shutdown. With so much uncertainty about the future, who knows if the crush will develop into anything else since we can't make plans to see each other.

At any rate, it's probably best to keep my options open and just try to enjoy the apocalypse while it's happening. Boxed sangria from Trader Joe's has helped in the entertainment arena.

Advertisement

Advertisement

Tinder has also been a spectacle during all this. Phone with text that says: Tom. 26. Goals: To go outside again someday.

The most amusing has been all my exes emerging from obscurity. Ex #1: Hey. Long time no talk. Ex #2: Hola! Crazy times huh? Ex #3: Miss u girl.

Overall, times are looking grim right now for single peeps trying to date. Guess I'll go bake banana bread... the closest thing to a "hot" date I'm getting in 2020.

The author is a Los Angeles-based illustrator.

Straight, gay, bisexual, transgender or nonbinary: L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for love in and around Los Angeles — and we want to hear your story. You must allow your name to be published, and the story you tell has to be true. We pay $300 for each essay we publish. Email us at LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here.

2

Fight boredom with these games:

Some odd things have happened in the travel world — but are they this odd? Use your nonsense detector to see whether you can sniff out the fiction.

Advertisement

Face masks, hand sanitizer and athletic-wear fashion are some of the sartorial offerings for our spring and summer 2020 season.

Exploring the state has its sweet moments - as well as salty ones. We’ve turned it all into a bingo game. Did you help cause a Yosemite Valley traffic jam? Check.

This has been the longest Happy Hour that America has ever seen. So uncork your favorite beverage and use these prompts to mark the moment.

Can you spot the 12 differences inside this quarantine hoarder’s pantry?

Fight quarantine fatigue while upcycling T-shirts and napkins with natural dyes made from fruits and vegetables. Did we mention it’s free?

Are you a Super Spreader or a Superb Hero? Revealing your secret identity is just a few steps away.

Share