The Times’ college football top 25

In “get real” estate news, Rankman has some swampland in Gainesville he’d like to sell. We made Alabama preseason No. 1 thinking a re-tooling Crimson Tide team would get better each week, and that appears to be the case. Florida lost twice Saturday when it fell to Alabama and lost quarterback John Brantley to injury a week before the Gators play at Louisiana State. There goes Florida’s quest for the Southeastern Conference. We dropped Boise State one spot because we saw the Nevada game. We bumped Stanford up one position even though no one ever sees the Cardinal play. Auburn and USC (offense only) return to the rankings; Michigan and Kansas State are first-timers who might be in for the duration.

1. Alabama 5-0; Mrs. Saban tells Nick she just loves her new alligator purse! (1)

2. Louisiana State 5-0; CBS broadcast vs. Florida to feature new sideline reporter Andy Rooney. (2)

3. Oklahoma 4-0; Texas State Fair pregame menu includes funnel cake and “Bevo on a stick.” (3)

4. Stanford 4-0; Coach Harbaugh is 7-1 if you combine Cardinal/49ers. (5)

5. Boise State 4-0; Subscribe to “Dikes&Tulips.com” to keep up on team’s Dutch players. (4)

6. Wisconsin 5-0; What’s black and blue and red all over? Nebraska. (7)

7. Oklahoma State 4-0; Texas Tech prep begins with Foxworthy show: “Are You Smarter Than a Red Raider?” (6)

8. Clemson 5-0; Rankman touches replica of Howard’s Rock every time he goes to the refrigerator. (10)

9. Oregon 3-1; Anyone outside Berkeley believe California will hold Oregon to 15 points this year? (9)

10. Arkansas 4-1; 20 for 20 in red zone but white zone still for loading/unloading passengers only. (18)

11. West Virginia 4-1; State produced coach Nick Saban and comedic actors Don Knotts, Lou Holtz. (19)

12. Texas 4-0; Athletic Director DeLoss says he technically owns Big 12 under 1862 HomesDodds Act. (20)

13. Georgia Tech 5-0; Gas guzzler in city (6.93 yards per carry) but better mileage on highway. (22)

14. Florida 4-1; Charlie Weis designing trick plays just to get Gators out of huddle at Louisiana State. (12)

15. Nebraska 4-1; Catch “Biggest Ex-Big 12 Losers” this week with co-stars Colorado and Texas A&M. (8)

16. Auburn 4-1; Chizik’s Tigers apparently didn’t get the memo about taking this season off. (NR)

17. Virginia Tech 4-1; Players took too literally the “three points” coach made before Clemson kickoff. (11)

18. Illinois 5-0; Six score(s) and four days ago, Illini won “Land of Lincoln trophy” over Northwestern. (24)

19. South Carolina 4-1; Spurrier recants joke about coloring books lost in Auburn library fire. (13)

20. Michigan 5-0; Pollsters reacted like you shut out the G.B. Packers, not the P.U. Gophers. (NR)

21. Houston 5-0; Keenum’s arm transplant “went well” after throwing 46 passes against Texas El Paso. (23)

22. Arizona State 4-1; Trailed Oregon State, 13-0, but luckily no voter east of Mesa, Ariz., noticed. (25)

23. Kansas State 4-0; If Snyder keeps this up he’ll be named Coach of Two Centuries. (NR)

24. Florida State 2-2; Dadgummit, this looks like the record the old coach left in his desk. (17)

25. USC (offense only) 4-1;Get complete team breakdown by watching last two defensive breakdowns. (NR)

Dropped out: Texas A&M (14), South Florida (15), Baylor (16), Texas Christian (21).

Moved in: Auburn, Kansas State, Michigan, USC.

chris.dufresne@latimes.com