The Times’ NBA rankings

TWO THUMBS UP, WAY UP
1. MIAMI (60-16) Chris Bosh should soon have some replacement jewelry for items taken from home. (1)

2. OKLAHOMA CITY (56-20) Top seeding in West may come with home court and a first-round bye (Lakers). (3)

PULITZER-WORTHY

3. SAN ANTONIO (57-20) It always seems like old times with Parker, Ginobili continually breaking down. (2)

4. DENVER (53-24) Even after “Gallo” goes down, deep Nuggets won’t have to turn to Ernest and Julio. (4)

5. MEMPHIS (51-25) Marc Gasol elbows brother Pau, who helps Lakers deliver knockout blow. (5)

6. CLIPPERS (50-26) Needs Caltech’s chemistry department to make a visit to Playa Vista headquarters. (6)

7. NEW YORK (49-26) Heady days for tabloids between Carmelo Anthony’s scoring and win streak. (8)

8. INDIANA (48-29) Showcase game against Thunder shows why West so much better than East. (7)

9. BROOKLYN (44-32) Broadway to go on hiatus this month with basketball taking center stage. (9)

MIXED REVIEWS

10. GOLDEN STATE (44-32) Who thought Warriors would finish second in division and ahead of Lakers? (10)

11. HOUSTON (43-34) James Harden might be reunited with a few old high-scoring pals in first round. (13)

12. CHICAGO (42-33) Bulls beat Magic with more talent in street clothes than in uniform. (12)

13. ATLANTA (42-36) The Final Four is in town, so at least someone will win a meaningful game here. (11)

14. LAKERS (40-36) Mr. Clutch, Dwight Howard, will now be sent to line for every technical free throw. (16)

15. BOSTON (39-37) When things fall apart for Celtics, it’s a shamrockmockery. (14)

16. UTAH (40-37) Gordon Hayward rolls eyes every time someone mentions “White Men Can’t Jump.” (15)

17. MILWAUKEE (37-39) Sub-.500 Bucks getting into the playoffs on a CIF-approved plan. (17)

18. DALLAS (37-39) Middling Mavericks apparently aren’t the best a man can get. (18)

19. PORTLAND (33-43) Trail Blazers need top free agent to go with All-Star Aldridge and star rookie Lillard. (19)

SNEAK PREVIEWS OF A LONG OFF-SEASON

20. PHILADELPHIA (31-45) It really is City of Brotherly Love with Justin Holiday joining younger sibling Jrue. (20)

21. TORONTO (29-48) Dwane Casey reminds Timberwolves fans he can win inside Target Center. (22)

22. WASHINGTON (29-47) Having season tickets at Verizon Center known as capital punishment. (21)

23. MINNESOTA (29-47) No assurances Rick Adelman would reach career victory No. 1,000 with this team. (23)

24. SACRAMENTO (27-49) Sleep Train Arena to be mercifully put to rest if Kings head to Seattle. (24)

25. NEW ORLEANS (26-50) Six, five, four, three, two, one … Pelicans! (27)

26. DETROIT (25-52) Having lost last eight at home, Pistons have become peacemakers at the Palace. (25)

27. CLEVELAND (23-52) Dan Gilbert’s decision about Byron Scott won’t polarize like The Decision. (28)

28. PHOENIX (23-53) Who wins if Suns take on old-timers team of Charles Barkley, Dan Majerle, et al.? (26)

29. ORLANDO (19-58) Magic has lotto fever every day of week as draft approaches. (29)

‘BENEATH THE VALLEY OF THE ULTRA-VIXENS’

30. CHARLOTTE (18-59) Bobcats fans cheer … when LeBron James and Dwyane Wade appear. (30)