The Times’ NBA rankings
‘ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE’
1. MIAMI (57-15) Nothing makes starting over easier than a game against the Hornets. (1)
2. SAN ANTONIO (55-17) As mobster Danny Vermin would say, Rockets beat Spurs once . . . ONCE! (2)
‘WE ARE THE KNIGHTS WHO SAY “NI” ’
3. OKLAHOMA CITY (54-20) Another streak ends when Derek Fisher makes a shot after 19 straight misses. (3)
4. DENVER (50-24) Ty Lawson’s torn plantar fascia takes plenty of vroom out of speed racers. (4)
5. MEMPHIS (49-24) Zach Randolph generates so many rumors he should be in Star magazine. (5)
6. CLIPPERS (49-25) Here’s guessing team won’t hang Pacific Division title banner at Staples Center. (6)
7. INDIANA (47-27)
Twenty-five point blowout of bearded Mavericks won’t go down as a close shave. (7)
8. NEW YORK (45-26) It’s getting to be that time of year again when Knicks go one and undone. (8)
9. BROOKLYN (42-31) Not even 20-20 vision could foresee Reggie Evan’s 22-point, 26-rebound night. (9)
‘IT’S JUST A FLESH WOUND’
10. GOLDEN STATE (42-32) David Lee, Dwight Howard won’t be on Kiss Cam in April 12 rematch. (10)
11. ATLANTA (41-33) Sixth straight playoff appearance won’t include first conference finals since ’70. (11)
12. CHICAGO (39-32) Of course, if Bulls met Heat in the playoffs they would need to win four times. (14)
13. HOUSTON (40-33) Omer Asik’s mantra: Flop on. Flop off. Flop on, flop off, the flopper! (12)
14. BOSTON (38-34) Kevin Garnett could return just in time for first-round playoff exit. (15)
15. UTAH (38-36) Team written off more than interest on student loans now taking others to school. (17)
16. LAKERS (38-36) Underperforming team receives tips from Bob Uecker while in Milwaukee. (13)
17. MILWAUKEE (35-37) Brandon Jennings’ new tell-all to be named “Stories from the bench.” (16)
18. DALLAS (36-37) Should have serenaded Lamar Odom with “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” (18)
19. PORTLAND (33-40) Only history to be made would be denying Lakers back-to-back victories. (19)
‘BRING OUT YOUR DEAD’
20. PHILADELPHIA (30-43) 76ers honor Allen Iverson with bobblehead, try to sign him for rest of season. (22)
21. WASHINGTON (26-46) Who knew? Woeful Wizards actually have winning record since Feb. 1. (20)
22. TORONTO (27-45) Every game at Air Canada Centre is now preceded by “Woe Canada.” (21)
23. MINNESOTA (26-46) Kobe Bryant’s game-ending foul on Ricky Rubio isn’t exactly a Whodunit. (23)
24. SACRAMENTO (27-47) DeMarcus Cousins puts season of hiccups on pause to swallow the Suns. (24)
25. DETROIT (24-49) The standings don’t lie, though the Pistons often wish they could fib just a little. (26)
26. PHOENIX (23-51) Suns list Goran Dragic as DNP—Tanking in hopes of another lottery pick. (25)
27. NEW ORLEANS (25-48) Dropping Hornets nickname won’t ensure any more buzz in 2013-14. (27)
28. CLEVELAND (22-49) Team can’t even tell fans “Come watch our future!” with Irving, Waiters out. (28)
29. ORLANDO (19-55) Hedo Turkoglu’s back . . . just in time to play for Fenerbahce Ulker in Turkey. (29)
‘AND FINALLY, MONSIEUR, A WAFER-THIN MINT’
30. CHARLOTTE (17-56) Josh McRoberts may have finally found a permanent McResidence here. (30)
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