COLLEGE YEAR IN REVIEW : THE LIGHTER SIDE

Dumb call: In Bob Burt’s coaching debut at Cal State Northridge, the Matadors began their football season with a 35-17 win over Sonoma State. In the first period, CSUN tried a fake punt on fourth-and-8 from its own 7-yard line. A rookie coaching mistake? “No,” Burt said. “Just a terrible call.”

Programs on a roll: CSUN basketball Coach Pete Cassidy’s team lost six straight games to open the season, including one to Weber State. In that game Cassidy, who resembles former UCLA Coach John Wooden, was coaching against another former UCLA coach, Larry Farmer. A writer noticed that during the game both coaches held rolled-up programs--as Wooden used to do.

“The only difference,” Cassidy said, “was I was using my program to hit my players on the head.”

Who would believe it: Cal Lutheran’s basketball team beat Westmont, 80-77. Westmont beat Western Michigan by 28 points. Western Michigan beat the Big Ten’s Michigan by three points. So, based on unsound but deductive reasoning, the Kingsmen would beat Michigan, right? And by 34 points.

Riiight.

Good Lord, it swished: The biggest shot of The Master’s basketball season wasn’t even taken by a basketball player. After the Mustangs’ 99-80 loss to Southern California College, Adam Dennis, a backup catcher on the baseball team, entered a lottery for a chance to win a four-wheel drive truck. All he had to do was hit five consecutive shots--a layup, free throw, three-pointer from top of the key, three-pointer from the baseline and a shot from half court.

After nailing the first four shots, Dennis threw up a half-court prayer that had Ford Bronco written all over it. Said a grateful Dennis afterward, whose car had been in chronic disrepair: “I’d been praying about a car for a long time.”

Amid the commotion, John Zeller, the sports information director who had arranged the promotion with Galpin Ford, sneaked off and called Shea Shafer, general manager at the dealership. He left this message on Shafer’s answering machine: “Shea, uh, we’ve got a problem.”

Outwardly at least, Shafer appeared pleased to give away the $19,000 vehicle. When presenting Dennis with the keys at a school assembly the next day, he said: “We’re glad he won it.”

A more realistic Zeller said, “Shea was in a state of shock . . .”

Oops: In a soccer game that Master’s lost, 2-0, against Biola, both goals were scored by Master’s players.

Hurt me: The quote of the college year is from Al Schoenberger, who, after 14 years at Cal Lutheran as a baseball coach, retired this season. Citing financial, recruiting and fund-raising woes, he said: “When you’re trying to push a grapefruit through a doughnut, it’s time to move on.”