THE NBA PLAYOFFS : DOOM IN DOME? : Celtics Face Must-Win Situation in Silverdome Tonight

No question, the Detroit Pistons have the Boston Celtics in big trouble. One more win and Motown’s in, Beantown’s out. Bye-bye, Larry Birdie.

Detroit leads the Eastern Conference championship series, 3 games to 2, and can earn passage to the National Basketball Assn. finals for the first time since the settlers left Fort Wayne, Ind., in 1957.

By taking tonight’s Game 6 against the Celtics at the Pontiac Silverdome, Chuck Daly’s Pistons can start thinking about Pat Riley’s Lakers, a coaching contest that definitely will deserve academy consideration for best costumes.

Such a series would reunite best friends Isiah Thomas and Earvin Johnson, would carry Bill Laimbeer and Magic back to the scenes of their childhoods, would pit bench-warmers Chuck Nevitt and Tony Campbell against their former employers, and would do wonders for the car-rental business, these being two of the toughest towns in America in which to hail taxis.

Of course, Boston ain’t yet dead. Game 6 is hardly a foregone conclusion. The 79-78 Memorial Day war proved that the Celtics do know how to win at the Silverdome, even if it means winning ugly. The Pistons had better go out there tonight and play their spark plugs off.

No question, Boston is lost in the backboard jungle right now and needs to shoot its way out. We do have other questions, though, such as: Why can’t the Celtics shoot?

Let us ask that pertinent question, and a couple of impertinent ones as well. Supply your own answers, if you don’t care for ours.

Q: Why can’t the Celtics shoot?

A: They might be tired. The starters never get any rest. By halftime, they usually need naps. Some thought Larry Bird and friends had difficulty shooting at the Silverdome in the daytime, with sunlight streaming through the roof, but they shot just as lousy at Boston Garden, where the only available light is a Bud Light.

Also, Danny (Zero for Game 5) Ainge is amazed at how hard it is to get off a clean, clear shot.

“I remember watching NBA games when I was in college, and how guys could shoot whenever and however they wanted,” Ainge says. “Nothing’s easy anymore. They smother you and hack you anywhere on the floor. They play you tough every second.”

Q: How tough is Detroit?

A: The Pistons are so tough, they set picks on you out of bounds, as Adrian Dantley did Wednesday to Dennis Johnson. The Pistons are so tough, they yank your jersey and pull you down while you shoot, as Laimbeer did Wednesday, also to Dennis Johnson. The Pistons are treating Dennis Johnson as if he’s a Mr. Bill doll.

Q: How tough is the Eastern Conference compared to the Western?

A: Jim Paxson, traded from Portland to Boston: “Something must come over (players) when they cross the Mississippi. When you see clutching, grabbing and a guy’s jersey held up in the air without a call, you wonder what’s going on. In the West, it’s a foul. Here, it’s part of the series.”

In other words, in the West, it’s no blood, no foul. In the East, it’s no death, no foul.

Q: How dirty is Detroit?

A: Laimbeer says: “We have a bad, undeserved reputation for playing dirty. We just play physical basketball, same as every other team.”

Not everybody agrees. The Chicago Bulls considered the Pistons a street gang in tank tops. Chicago Sun-Times columnist Terry Boers wrote that the Pistons were “pond scum.”

Q: Is Isiah Thomas taking control, or is he out of control?

A: As they say in the Bible, the little child Isiah is leading the way. He had monster games in Nos. 1 and 5, never turned chicken under pressure, and called a smart timeout in Game 2 while others around him were panicking, nearly saving that contest for Detroit.

An argument rages: Does Isiah shoot without blinking or without thinking? He’s brave but occasionally foolhardy.

Tommy Heinsohn says: “There’s a feeling in some places that when a game’s on the line, Isiah Thomas will play out of control.”

Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe believes that Isiah has an Evil Twin, who from time to time takes his place in the huddle.

Q: Will Detroit wilt when it counts?

A: Possibly. This is not a team known for smart moves in the final seconds. Also, its free-throw shooting is shaky. Dennis Rodman shoots free throws the way body builders throw a medicine ball. He considers it a good try when he hits the rim.

As for Laimbeer, he was on the money for most of Game 4, the game that nearly was the death of the Pistons, but passed up the possible game winner with seconds remaining.

A banner welcomed him Wednesday to Boston Garden: “When the Going Gets Tough, Laimbeer Passes.” He had the last laugh, though, spiking the game ball so hard at the final buzzer, it bounced nearly as high as the championship banners.

Q: Is the bench of the Celtics better than the bench of the Clippers?

A: No.

Q: Do clothes make the men?

A: Maybe. Piston PR man Matt Dobek wore his lucky green sport coat for Game 5, taking considerable grief. Detroit is 2-0 vs. Boston with him wearing it, though.

Dapper Chuck Daly asked a Los Angeles writer: “What do you think? Should I wear a green suit for Game 6? Or a tux?”

He promised that if he didn’t do the tux now, he’d do it if Detroit played the Lakers. Riley is hereby challenged to do likewise.

Q: If these teams are so good, why are the coaches leaving?

A: K. C. Jones is retiring to reduce the strain of coaching and traveling. Tonight’s could be his last game. Daly’s contract expired Monday, and he is working without one. At 57, he is the NBA’s second-oldest coach, and wants to be a general manager. To paraphrase the Bible again, the Pistons this day might have to give Daly bread.

Q: How do the Pistons match up with the Lakers, celebrity for celebrity?

A: As you know, the Forum has Jack, Dyan, Walter, Debra, Barbra, Don, Tatum, John, Rob, Kirk, Michael and many more. Welcome to Ballgames of the Rich and Famous. We turned to--and looked up to--the 7-foot 5-inch Chuck Nevitt, ex-Laker and current Piston, for a Silverdome star-gazing report.

“Well, we get Thomas Hearns,” Nevitt said. “And, I guess Bob Seger comes sometimes. And, I heard the other night we had what’s her name from ‘Facts of Life.’ The one that plays Tootie.”

Just a typical night at the Fabulous Silverdome.