Mother Knew Best, but It Was Mean Trick

Hugh Culverhouse Jr., son of the owner of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and a nontitled trouble-shooter for the club, has never been known to back down in a fight. For that, he credits his mother.

“I remember one time she made me fight the local bully,” he told Tom Zucco of the St. Petersburg Times. “I was 7, and it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. His name was John Mean. I’m not kidding, that’s his name. It’s funny, but he’s now a surgeon.

“Anyway, we were in the Cub Scouts and she was one of the leaders. Well, she waited for a rainy day and then she said the activity for the day was boxing. Then she produced these two sets of boxing gloves. I had no idea who I was going to fight, until she picked Johnny Mean. I thought to myself, ‘I’m fat, I’m slow and I’m scared to death.’

“I started getting the stuffing kicked out of me, but then I got mad and started swinging back. The next thing I knew, through the blood and the tears, I hear this woman screaming at the top of her lungs, ‘Kill him! Kill him!’

“It was my mom.”

Who won?

“I did.”

Stop the presses: Mel Kiper, NFL draft expert for ESPN, told USA Today he’s picking the Rams to win the Super Bowl.

“I see the Rams beating the Redskins in the NFC final, and Cleveland over Buffalo in the AFC,” he said.

Word of caution: Before you bet the New York Mets to win it all, now that they have Frank Viola, don’t forget what happened to the Cincinnati Reds in 1977. They were coming off two straight World Series victories and appeared to be a cinch for a third when they got Tom Seaver from the Mets in mid-season. Seaver did beautifully, going 14-3, but the Reds finished second, 10 games behind the Dodgers.

It’s worked the other way, too. When the Chicago Cubs obtained Rick Sutcliffe from Cleveland in 1984, he went 16-1 and the Cubs won the title in the National League East.

Trivia time: In 1945, who was the pitcher that led the Chicago Cubs to the National League title after being obtained from the New York Yankees during the season?

Lottery Lifers: From Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post: “Being with the Clippers means always having to say, ‘I’m sorry.’ They’re the NBA’s answer to Jiffy Lube--every 10,000 miles they change coaches. Everyone they draft either breaks his leg, forgets how to shoot or would rather hold his breath until he turns blue than play for them . . . “

On the line: From Dallas running back Herschel Walker, an aspiring G-man, after spending a week this summer at the FBI school in Quantico, Va.:

“They had an obstacle course and you shoot at targets to protect your partner as you advance up the course. I had fun. There were about 200 recruits there. I can see how the agents that come out of the academy are really prepared. I have a lot of respect for them.”

Walk in the park: Former pro football player Dan Dierdorf, on his flourishing career in broadcasting: “I’m appalled at how easy the business is.”

Trivia answer: Hank Borowy. He was 11-2 for the Cubs.

Quotebook: Duncan Macdonald, former Stanford miler, looking forward to this weekend’s World Veterans Championships at Eugene, Ore.: “To tell the truth, the competition is only part of the reason for going. It’s to see people. There could be carousing.”