Christmas Spirit Lives in Canada

Christmas cards came to me at my office the past few days, from the Angels, the Dodgers, the Raiders, the Rams . . . and the Calgary Flames. I kid you not.

I wasn’t even sure they had Christmas in Canada. I thought maybe they celebrated All Pucks Day, or the feast of St. Pauli Girl.

“This season brings a greater appreciation of old friendships and new associations,” the card read. Signed: the Calgary Flames Hockey Club.

Well, I was touched.

Frankly, I had never thought of myself as a new association of the Calgary Flames, even after I visited their fine city to watch the 1988 Winter Olympics and the 1989 Stanley Cup playoffs. Had I known that I was going to be making new associations up there, I’d have dressed better.

Anyhow, it turns out that Canadians are absolutely full of the Christmas spirit. The spirit of sharing. The spirit of giving.

How do I know?

Because they just keep giving and giving and giving.

Here in Southern California, they have given us Wayne Gretzky and Larry Robinson to play hockey for the Kings, they have given us Mervyn Fernandez to catch passes for the Raiders, they have given us Mark Langston to pitch baseballs for the Angels, and now they have given us Hubie Brooks to hit baseballs for the Dodgers.

What a country!

Canadians just keep giving and giving, till it hurts. Our good friends north of the border truly do believe that it is better to give than to receive. We in America even gave them Jimmy Carson as payment for Gretzky, but they gave him right back.

Canada is becoming America’s farm club. It just keeps sending us foreign aid.

Can’t we give something back? Can’t we make a donation to these generous people who provide us with so much? When the Toronto Blue Jays make a trade with the New York Yankees, they are nice enough to send them Jesse Barfield. What do the Yankees send back? Al Leiter. It was like bartering with the Indians again for Manhattan.

Perhaps Canadians have been feeling generous, since hockey is the only sport they truly care about.

Of course, Canada also is still stuck with the Quebec Nordiques, the NHL’s lousiest team, and the Vancouver Canucks, possibly the second-lousiest team, and Harold Ballard, the dotty old goofus who has run the Toronto Maple Leafs into the ice.

And Canada is still home to Ben (Better Running Through Chemistry) Johnson, the Olympic sprinter, although plans have been made, generously, to give him back to Jamaica.

Some of the athletes who leave Canada do so not because they dislike living there, but because they dislike the way their $3-million-a-year contracts are only worth about $2 million in U.S. currency.

They also leave because their wives want to be actresses. It isn’t enough to host “A.M. Edmonton.” It isn’t enough to act in off-off-off-off-Broadway shows. Canadian actresses do have a sidewalk where they place their footprints in wet cement, but unfortunately, the sidewalk has only six footprints so far.

Hubie Brooks is the latest to bolt Canada for better opportunities in the States. He is a right fielder and third baseman who signed with a team that already has a right fielder and a third baseman.

The Dodgers are unconcerned. They are going to start an outfield of Kal Daniels in left, Juan Samuel in center, Kirk Gibson in right and Hubie Brooks in between somewhere. The old four-man outfield.

Ten bucks says the ball still drops.

These guys can play the outfield every bit as well as the 1927 Yankees. Of course, the outfielders of the 1927 Yankees are all dead.

Samuel doesn’t even want to play the outfield. He wants to play second base. We saw him play the outfield last season. He should play second base.

The Dodgers also got him to be a leadoff hitter. From 1984 through ‘87, Samuel tied the major league record for most consecutive seasons leading a league in strikeouts. Nice leadoff hitter.

But the Dodgers are not done dealing. Let’s give them until April to see what else they have up their sleeves besides Fernando Valenzuela at about a quarter-million dollars a win.

Remember, the spirit of giving is not necessarily confined to Canadians. Look at that big trade the Dodgers made with the St. Louis Cardinals, the big Pedro Guerrero-for-Nobody trade. We don’t have to worry, though, if we have any more holes to fill in the lineup. One phone call to Canada and we can have anybody the Expos or Blue Jays have got.

Canada is our friend.