Most of Laurel Canyon Park off Mulholland...

Most of Laurel Canyon Park off Mulholland Drive is now reserved for dogs, and visiting humans have all the status of a fire hydrant.

While the Humane Society was holding a press conference there Thursday, a canine crept up behind KABC (Channel 7) newsman Gene Gleeson, lifted up its leg and sprayed him.

KNX radio reporter Diane Thompson, who was nearby, said she avoided the line of fire because “I was keeping an eye on the dog.”

Gleeson laughed off the incident, pointing out that the pooch missed most of his leg. (Fortunately, TV reporters are generally seen from the waist up.)

And the impudent beast’s owner? He or she never came forward.

How fierce is the competition in the real estate industry since the boom turned into a bust? A publicist phoned to say that his client, a Beverly Hills real estate agent, has taken to laminating his business cards so that he can pass them out to bathers at the Beverly Hills Hotel swimming pool.

Sad.

Florida’s lack of originality apparently knows no bounds.

The Sunshine State, as you know, has built imitations of Disneyland, the Hollywood Walk of Fame, the Brown Derby and the Universal Studio Tour. Recently, claiming to have discovered Medflies, it began a malathion-spraying campaign.

Here’s the topper: Federal prosecutors are now investigating the Miami Beach mayor’s dealings with a banker--even before the end of the federal investigation of our own Mayor Bradley’s dealings with various financial institutions.

No doubt Florida will soon have its own Malathion Poetry Contest, too. In the meantime, Only in L.A.’s panel of distinguished judges gave this week’s award to Jeff Williamson of Sherman Oaks, who doused us with the following:

There must be citizens who feel

It’s time to change the City Seal:

Let’s add two Medflies to the rim

(The female making eyes at him!).

Williamson, who also submitted the seal, says the phrase at the bottom is “an old heraldic way of saying, ‘Enough already, no more spraying.’ ”

Great Inventions That Never Quite Caught On:

Fifty years ago, long before the advent of electronic turn signals for cars, Westways magazine reported the development of a product called Arm-A-Lite.

It was a device that fit into the corner of the driver’s window. The inventor’s idea, Westways said, was that when the driver made an arm signal to turn, his arm would automatically hit a light switch. Then, a light would throw “a beam on his arm, making it visible.”

More evidence that the safe-sex campaign is gaining followers:

A woman’s purse was stolen while she was paying for gasoline in Glassell Park. The purse was found a week later on the roof of a neighboring McDonald’s. The only thing missing was a pack of condoms.

miscelLAny:

Remember the days when vandalism of bus benches amounted to an occasional mustache added to a drawing? A city survey recently found that 75% of L.A.’s 6,700 benches had been defaced.