Meow for Me, Baby, Meow : Weekly Class Teaches Cats to Act Up for the Camera

Forget about Stanislavsky or Strasberg and don’t tease them with thoughts of Oscar.

They care more about Purina.

They are fragile felines, taking a weekly acting class in Van Nuys called College for Cats, which their owners hope will land their pets in film, television, or commercials. The possibilities are endless.

“Everyone can be the next Morris,” said Sandi Wirth, animal behaviorist/instructor, who teaches the cats how to respond to verbal and hand cues, make hissing sounds, and stay at ease--all skills they must know if Kim Basinger or Tom Cruise are going to make them stars someday in Hollywood.

The rewards can be sentimental--”we have that tape forever,” said Scott Smith of North Hollywood about his pet, Squirty, who appears regularly in a commercial for a cat litter product--or financial--Wirth said cat owners can make hundreds of dollars per appearance in a commercial, television show or movie.

Above all else, the class--costing $75 for a 10-week session--teaches the animals to be comfortable with strangers, which they must excel at in any acting production. The class meets Thursday nights at the Voyager Motel.

“Someone is going to grab them on a set, and if they act too jumpy, they won’t keep the part,” said Wirth, who has provided animals for commercials and television shows such as “Mike Hammer,” “Hunter” and the movie “La Bamba.”

Smith, along with girlfriend Linda Jones, might be breeding a Hollywood dynasty. In addition to Squirty, another cat, Mr. Newman, has been an understudy for a commercial. And one more, Annabelle, has been featured in a Virginia Slims cigarette calendar advertisement.

“You know that your cat is special,” Jones said, “but you want everyone else to see that.”

The other skills taught by Wirth, especially those on how to respond to buzzers, clickers, or verbal cues, also come in handy on a television or movie set. They are simple behavioral responses she tries to stimulate through association with rewards. “So much depends on their response to simple things,” Wirth said.

She tells people not to feed their cats on Thursdays from noon untill class begins at 7:30 p.m. Upon performing each act in class, cats are quickly given little food treats. “If they’re hungry, they’ll perform,” Wirth said. “They have a strong union. They have to be paid.”

Things don’t always go well. In one recent class, Lisa Baer tried to get a nudge from her cat, Baer, a Himalayan. Baer didn’t cooperate and instead jumped around hysterically, almost biting his owner. Wirth told Baer to remain firm, demonstrating to the cat that the angry reaction was improper.

“You have to have the last word, Lisa,” said Wirth, sounding like the director who makes a stand with the rebellious actor. “You don’t want the cat to train you, and know it’s OK to do that. He’ll know he got away with something.”

So far, Laura Cowan’s feline, Minx, is a slow learner. Numerous attempts to coax Minx to stand on her feet and reach for food proved unsuccessful. Minx just sat there, seemingly bored with the acting profession.

“I guess I just need to do more homework during the week,” Cowan of Encino said. “She’s a free spirit, and she hasn’t adjusted yet.”

Wirth recommends that owners spend no more than three nights a week practicing exercises with their cats, and just five to 10 minutes at a time--”they get bored real quick.” She remains convinced every cat is coachable. There are no prima donnas.

Forget about stardom. For now, Barbara Nemetz will settle for having a more sociable animal--in fact, many pet owners in the class are more concerned with getting their cats to act better at home than act before the world. “We used to have parties, and Minx would run away,” Cowan said. “I don’t want her to be traumatized every time a stranger comes in the house.”

During her first class, Barbara’s pet was petrified and wouldn’t leave her shoulder. No surprise. Her pet, Algernon, is a rat. Wirth said she allowed Algernon because rats are intelligent animals, and can perform some of the tricks cats accomplish. The cats never made the slightest move toward Algernon.

“Maybe I can get her on David Letterman’s Stupid Pet Tricks,” Nemetz of Los Angeles said jokingly.

When class ends in August, Wirth plans to hold a huge graduation ceremony, complete with judges and “Pomp and Circumstance.” Prizes will be taken home for the cats who demonstrate the most refined skills. She has scheduled another class to start in June.

Maybe, by then, the furry actors will be more ambitious. If not, owners are certain to compensate.

“We’re all stage mothers,” Wirth said. “We all have that dream.”