They Learned Spokane Isn’t Quite Like Rio

Is security a Goodwill Games event?

First, Seattle buys an anti-terror robot. Then, the Soviet delegation’s plane gets scrambled by U.S. Air Force jets over the Pacific. Then come reports of constant I.D. checks inside the athletes’ village.

Sunday, Larry Fine of Associated Press reported that a 25-year-old Seattle man drew the attention of special police bomb squads when he lay his camera bag on the ground, announced that it was filled with dynamite and stepped back.

Inside was a video camera. The joker was booked.

Meanwhile, between matches of the women’s volleyball competition at Gonzaga University in Spokane, Wash., members of the Brazilian team drew the attention of security police. The charge was sunbathing, Brazilian-style. Topless.

Add security: Sunday was “Conehead” night for fans of the triple-A Calgary Cannons of the Pacific Coast League. In the seventh inning, a young man ran onto the field wearing only the souvenir conehead every fan received before the game.

Security made it three for three in the wild Northwest.

Trivia time: When was the Atlanta Braves’ last home sellout during the regular season?

Driving the lane: The movie “Autobahn,” now filming, will bring us the story of a West German inventor whose contribution to the unification of East and West Germany is a car that runs on organic food.

The role of Yugo Boss, an automobile manufacturer’s representative, will be played by Laker center Vlade Divac.

One to a customer: ESPN’s Dan Patrick reported Sunday night that with his victory in the British Open, Nick Faldo won “another green jacket.”

Wait until officials at the Masters hear about this.

Bonus babe: Dallas Cowboy quarterback Babe Laufenberg, a five-year NFL veteran, has backed up John Elway, Joe Theismann, Doug Williams and Jay Schroeder, among others.

When asked to name the one he would choose if he were starting an NFL team, Laufenberg said: “I’d sign me, probably, because I’d be the cheapest.”

Vive le tube: Turn away from your newspaper if you would rather not read the overnight ratings for ABC’s Sunday coverage of the British Open and the Tour de France.

The final round of golf got a 4.1. The final stage of cycling got a 6.0. And more than once during the golf telecast, ABC announced that Greg LeMond won the Tour de France.

Trivia answer: On April 8, 1974, the night Hank Aaron hit his 715th career home run, breaking Babe Ruth’s record, the Braves drew 53,775 at Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium. Capacity was listed as 52,870.

Trivia correction: Monday’s trivia question sparked controversy at the headquarters of Graybar Electric. One employee called The Times to suggest that the question should have read, “Which two states among the contiguous 48 don’t have an NFL franchise and don’t border on a state or District that does?” Without the “District” qualification, the answer is “Maine, Montana and Virginia.”

Quotebook: Veteran Denver Bronco defender Karl Mecklenburg: “From nose guard to defensive end to inside linebacker to outside linebacker, I’m moving right up the evolutionary ladder.”