An Unplayable Lion Needn’t Slow the Game

Golf in Zimbabwe has a character all its own. For instance, among the local rules for the Elephant Hills Country Club are:

--If a player is chased by an elephant, “he shall be allowed to return to his ball, which shall be played as it lies whether or not the animal had trodden thereon.”

--If a ball comes to rest within a tail’s distance of a sleeping buffalo, “it may be removed and dropped no nearer the hole without penalty. More than a tail length, the ball shall be played as it lies.”

--If a ball hits a running warthog, “this does not entitle the player to replay the shot, except when the ball strikes the tail, in which case it shall be deemed to have struck a miniature moving flagpole.”

Zimbabwe pro Nick Price once hit a shot off a warthog’s rump and said later that “it saved me a stroke or two because he kept the ball from going out of bounds.”

Why do they?: One night before the Cleveland Grand Prix, a group of Italian mechanics from Pat Patrick’s Alfa Romeo team took in a Cleveland-Milwaukee game at the nearby baseball stadium. One puzzled mechanic turned to the race team’s public relations spokesman, Tom Blattler, and asked:

“If they want this man (the batter) to hit the ball to those men (the fielders), why do they throw it so hard?”

A ways to go: Red Schoendienst, the St. Louis Cardinal coach, has been in the major leagues for 47 years. That leaves him only 15 more years to pass Connie Mack. If he makes it, Red will be 83.

Trivia time: Before the Chicago Cubs this year, which was the last major league team to have three most valuable players in the lineup?

Sound advice: After the Lakers were put away by Michael Jordan & Co., Coach Mike Dunleavy was inundated with calls offering advice.

“Calls came from everywhere,” he said. “Media people. Some people from rest homes called up. They sound about the same.”

Ground floor: The sports card boom has reached the Olympic Festival. The premiere edition of U.S. Olympic Cards, the Decathlon Gold Series, will be distributed this week.

The decathlon cards, first of a series that will appear before the 1992 Olympic Games, will feature Bob Mathias, Milt Campbell, Rafer Johnson, Bill Toomey and Bruce Jenner, all Olympic champions. A percentage of the proceeds will support the U.S. Olympic team.

Happy warrior: John Kruk of the Philadelphia Phillies received a $50,000 bonus for making the National League All-Star team, but that wasn’t the thing that pleased him most about the invitation.

“It was the first letter I ever got from (National League president) Bill White that didn’t say I have to pay a fine,” Kruk said.

Trivia answer: The 1984 Angels, with designated hitter Reggie Jackson (1973 MVP), outfielder Fred Lynn (1975) and first baseman Rod Carew (1977).

Quotebook: Craig Stadler, asked how he was putting now compared to 1982, when he won the Masters: “More.”