Our Courses Are Too Good, So Their Players Are Better

When the British Open begins Thursday at Royal Birkdale, American golfers will be struggling to overcome what has been a European monopoly of major international competition. U.S. golfers have not won in five of the last seven British Opens, six of the last nine Masters and the last three Ryder Cup matches.

Everyone has an idea why, but Ben Crenshaw has an unusual one--our courses are too good.

“(Europeans) have all the shots you need to win under any conditions,” Crenshaw told Leonard Shapiro of the Washington Post. “The courses they play on the European tour are rustic, natural and unkempt. And they’re confronted with more natural elements--rain and wind especially--that makes them better players.

“And agronomy has a lot to do with it. It’s gotten so good in this country, and this may sound wild, but it’s almost gotten too good. On tour, we almost never get a bad lie.”

Not a balk: When a pitcher is on the mound at Drillers Stadium in Tulsa, Okla., the batter and the umpire aren’t the only ones who can stop play. Horses can, too.

Play is halted for 45 seconds at the double-A park so a foul ball doesn’t land on the adjacent Fair Meadows track while a race is in progress. It happened twice last year when horse racing at the Tulsa County Fair took place during a Driller game.

Trivia time: Who is the only player to win batting championships in three decades?

Different strokes: Dean Biasucci is an aspiring actor who also is a kicker for the Indianapolis Colts. He finds theater audiences quite different from football crowds.

“They don’t scream or drink beer or throw snowballs at you. They might fall asleep, but they won’t boo. And when was the last time you saw the wave in a theater?”

Initially wrong: Said Mike Tyson, about two years ago, when UPI boxing writer Dave Raffo introduced himself:

“UPI? Hey, one of your trucks ran over my dog!”

Raffo: “No, no Mike--That’s UPS.”

Helping hand: Chicago Bear President Mike McCaskey, frustrated by voters’ rejection of a domed stadium proposal, has been threatening to take the Bears to the suburbs.

Alderman Robert Shaw says that as far as he is concerned, “I will provide a Greyhound bus ticket with a toilet to ensure that he will not have to stop getting out of town.”

Trivia answer: George Brett, who hit .333 in 1976, .390 in 1980 and .329 last year.

Changing times: The United Church of Christ is taking aim at one of Cleveland’s best-known images--Chief Wahoo, the grinning symbol of the baseball Indians.

“The use and misuse of Native American imagery affronts basic human rights and dignity and has a negative impact on human self-worth,” the church’s General Synod said in a resolution. Team spokesman Bob DiBiasio said the name was historic, that the team was named for Louis Sockalexis, a Penobscot Indian believed to be the first American Indian to play major league baseball. Sockalexis played from 1887 through ’89 and batted .313.

The Indians could use him today.

Quotebook: Senior golfer Al Kelley, after taking an 11 on the par-five 17th hole in the second round of the Senior Players Championship: “I tried to make a one, but I made two of them instead.”