‘The Worst Feeling I’ve Ever Felt’

San Diego State was about to post the biggest victory in the history of its football program. It was about to defeat the University of Southern California. It had driven deep into Trojan territory and jockeyed into position for a tiebreaking field goal in the game’s final minute.

Folks would be dancing in the streets from Alpine to Mission Beach.

Coach Al Luginbill would be a write-in candidate for mayor.

Marshall Faulk would get the San Diego County vote for president.

SDSU’s professors might even love President Tom Day, at least maybe for a day.

From a mere 30 yards, a field goal kicker’s version of a gimme putt, Andy Trakas lined up to be the hero of the piece.

He missed.

That was the one that hurt. Forget that an interception a few seconds later gave him a second chance. That attempt was from 55 yards. That would have been a miracle . . . and he came a lot closer on that one than he did from 30.

Final score: 31-31.

“I’ll tell you,” Trakas said, “there’s no such thing as close misses. If you can find another position in sports like place-kicking, I’d like to see it. It’s either the penthouse or the outhouse.”

Trakas is a senior, his fourth year in the program. He has seen the program go from the outhouse to so frustrating close to the penthouse. His team was so close to kicking that door down, and his foot was in position to knock it off its hinges.

This was a wonderful football game, really, for both teams. The Trojans dominated the first half and led, 21-7, but the Aztecs came roaring back after the intermission. They led twice, 24-21 and 31-28, as Dazzling Darnay Scott made an incredible touchdown catch and Marvelous Marshall Faulk made that explosive 59-yard touchdown dash. And the much-maligned SDSU defense frustrated the Trojans again and again.

What it came down to, however, was Andy Trakas and his foot.

And his foot has not been kind to him.

He missed two field goals two years ago in a 30-28 loss to Miami, an extra point in last year’s 21-20 loss to Air Force and a 41-yard field goal with 2:46 to play in last year’s 52-52 tie with Brigham Young. That last one would have given the Aztecs a 55-45 lead, which may or may not have been safe, the way that game was going.

In this season opener Saturday, against the football program in this neck of the woods, Trakas had his first opportunity to win a game in the final minute.

That 30-yarder was not only missed, but missed badly.

“Was I nervous?” he asked rhetorically. “What do you call nervous? Were my legs shaking? No. Did I have a lump in my throat? No. I lined it up and the ball went left. It’s the worst feeling I’ve ever felt. I feel like I let down the coaches, my teammates, the people of San Diego, 52,000 in the stands . . . and all the boosters and professors and students who’ve been so supportive. I can’t describe the feeling.”

In truth, Trakas was describing his feelings very well. He did not hide in the shower or training room or closet. He stood up and said he was at a loss for words, though he really wasn’t. Instead, he was at a loss for an explanation.

Indeed, explanations don’t come easy, especially when 3 hours 51 minutes of drama are packed into one moment and you are the focal point for that decisive moment.

“I don’t know what happened,” he said. “It’s just a blur. I’m grasping for answers. It hurts. We didn’t lose, but we didn’t win.”

He came off the field after that first miss looking like he could crawl under the bench. He never expected to get a second chance, not in a million years. USC, equally desperate to win, went to the air and Damon Pieri came up with an interception to give the Aztecs a desperation shot of their own from their own 45 with 17 seconds to play.

After a pass from David Lowery to Scott moved the ball to the USC 38, Trakas, unlucky as he seems to be, lost an opportunity for a shorter second chance when Keith Williams dropped a pass when wide open at about the 20.

So there was Trakas lined up once again, this time attempting to win it from 55 yards.

“I thought I got it all,” he said, “but there was a little breeze in my face. I thought it was good until it tailed off to the right.”

By about five feet. That was all.

It would have been so poetic, that the kid who misses from 30 gets that second chance and then wins it from 55. There’s nothing poetic, however, about life. It doesn’t always work out the way it does in fantasy or dreams. This may be excruciatingly true for the lot of kickers.

“That’s a kicker’s life,” said Andy Trakas, “and I’m feeling the real bitter end of it.”