THE NBA / MARK HEISLER : No Crowns Yet, but Kings Getting Closer

There may be few lakes in Los Angeles, and little jazz in Utah, but for inappropriateness, one NBA nickname surpasses them all.

Kings.

What were these guys ever king of, besides the road? They had four homes--Rochester and Cincinnati as the Royals, Kansas City-Omaha and Sacramento as the Kings--rolling ever westward on the map, southward in the standings.

In 1985, they settled into their current residence, Arco Arena, five miles outside Sacramento, surrounded by acres of vacant farmland, where they began to court serious ignominy, turning over the program to those two great communicators, first Bill Russell, then Dick Motta.

Even when they did something right, it went wrong, like Russell drafting Pervis Ellison, whom Motta didn’t like, resulting in Ellison’s trade to Washington, where he became a star.

Russell cackled his last cackle and re-retired. The Kings, soon learning that Motta disliked all his players and that the feeling was reciprocal, axed him. Owner Gregg Lukenbill failed to attract the Raiders or a longer line of credit and eventually sold out.

Imagine the surprise less than a year later when the Pacific Division awoke to this:

Sacramento 3-0

Portland 2-0

Seattle 2-0

Golden State 2-0

Phoenix 1-1

Lakers 1-1

Clippers 0-2

This did not start a wild scramble to readjust the odds in Las Vegas but with a new owner, Jim Thomas; a new coach, Garry St. Jean, and a new hot rookie, Walt Williams, to go along with Mitch Richmond and Lionel Simmons, the Kings have something to build on.

General Manager Jerry Reynolds, a survivor of the Lukenbill-Russell-Motta days--”I’m old-fashioned. I always felt the main thing was to go ahead and feed my kids, even if they maybe didn’t deserve it sometimes”--rejoices in the new regime in which the owner has some money, the coach has some players and the GM has some options.

“We’re thrilled,” Reynolds says. “We don’t have a player on our roster older than 29.

“The future is there for us. All the mistakes we’ve made in the past, I don’t think we’ve made any lately and I think we’ve done some reasonably solid things in the last year and a half.”

You think it’s not fun, being with a winner?

“I can do my jogging wearing my Kings stuff,” Reynolds says. “And I don’t have to pull my cap down over my eyes.”

THE WILD BUNCH RIDES AGAIN

If you were wondering how long Chuck Daly’s honeymoon would last in New Jersey, try one game.

The Nets were 1-0 when they journeyed to Miami, where Kenny Anderson, perhaps an overrated playmaker, passed up Drazen Petrovic, an underrated pain in the neck, who was spotting up in the corner.

In the ensuing huddle, Petrovic snarled at Anderson to pass him the ball.

Anderson cursed at Petro.

Petro cursed at Anderson.

Derrick Coleman told Petro to shut up.

Petro cursed at Coleman.

The Nets lost to the Heat, then fell again at New York, 99-96, when Coleman forced a wild three-pointer with five seconds left on the clock.

“I never second-guess myself,” Coleman said. “Never. That was a great shot.”

Daly who rarely second-guessed his Pistons publicly, called it a “half-assed shot.”

NEVER MIND

Houston owner Charlie Thomas and Hakeem Olajuwon, whose feud launched a thousand trade rumors, made up on the Rockets’ recent 14-hour flight to Japan.

Thomas had team officials go public last spring, accusing Olajuwon of faking an injury to force them to renegotiate his contract.

Olajuwon threatened to sue the Rockets and recently called Thomas a coward.

Said Hakeem: “It’s like a marriage. If you won’t talk in a marriage, you know what happens.”

Said Thomas: “He’s a businessman. I’m a businessman.”

WHY THIS LEAGUE NEEDS DOUG MOE

With 33 seconds left in the final exhibition, Detroit’s Type-A coach, Ron Rothstein, called a timeout, infuriating the Philadelphia 76ers’ laid-all-the-way-back Doug Moe.

Moe instructed his players that whatever play the Pistons ran, they were to stand still with their arms in the air and watch.

The 76ers turned to statues while the Pistons ran their play, Lance Blanks sinking an 18-foot jumper.

Said Rothstein to Moe going off the floor: “I’ve got young kids trying to make this team.”

Replied Moe: “Don’t give me that . . . You know right now who you’re going to cut.”

FACES AND FIGURES

What, you don’t think a lineup of Doug Smith, Brian Howard, Sean Rooks, Walter Bond and Derek Harper can win 10 games? The Dallas Mavericks are given a chance to challenge the 9-73 76ers of 1972-73 as the worst team ever. One man who isn’t bristling at the insult is Coach Richie Adubato. “Sure, I wonder whether we can get to 10 (victories),” he said. “I think that’s just a normal reaction.” . . . Jerry Tarkanian, 62, new coach of the San Antonio Spurs, fretting before the opener: “At my age for God’s sake. I should be out watering the flowers or something.”

Sacramento forward Wayman Tisdale, on ending the Kings’ 45-game Forum losing streak: “You know how many times I’ve been humiliated in that building? Other than the day I go to heaven, this may be the greatest day in my life.” . . . Coach Dan Issel of the Denver Nuggets on reborn prospect Chris Jackson, who averaged 30 points in the first three games: “We’ve created a monster. Now we can’t shut him up or get him off the court.” . . . Over-thinking: Nugget center Dikembe Mutombo, considered by some a potential David Robinson, is off to a slow start, wearing tape on the thumb on which he underwent surgery last season. “The only reason I tape it is up here,” he says, tapping his head.

Phoenix executive Cotton Fitzsimmons, continuing to argue that the East is overrated despite having won four consecutive titles: “The Pistons, in all honesty, were lucky. No offense to Chuck Daly, but if you look at who they played, you see why they won. The Lakers had those injuries to Byron Scott and Magic Johnson and it was Portland’s first time in the finals.” . . . Washington Coach Wes Unseld on the trade for Don MacLean: “In all honesty, it was something we had to do to make the deal (sending John Williams to the Clippers). In hindsight, having the kid here, I’m damn glad we did.”

Minutes: Boston’s Kevin McHale, winding down a great career, averaged 14 through the first four games. Chicago’s Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen each averaged more than 40 as the Bulls sputtered out of the gate. . . . Jordan, upset that owner Jerry Reinsdorf made up 100 championship rings for the players and staff: “There should be 20 of them, tops. Everyone else should have gotten another sort of thing. We’re the guys who sweated for them.” . . . Detroit continues to shop troubled Dennis Rodman, seen last week in front of his dressing stall with a towel over his head, grumbling: “Five more months of this crap.” Among the interested teams are Charlotte, Miami, Seattle and Orlando, but everyone wants to watch Rodman for a while.

Harold Miner, who sat out 22 minutes in his entire USC career, is now the No. 4 guard in Miami and will be No. 5 when Steve Smith returns next month. “He’s taking a longer time to adjust than I thought,” Coach Kevin Loughery said. “He has a lot to learn about the NBA.” . . . Orlando’s Brian Williams, who fainted four times over the summer, is still feeling bad, but doctors can’t identify an illness. Meanwhile, Magic officials are bristling. Mild-mannered Coach Matt Guokas yelled at Williams during a practice last week: “Brian, just play basketball! Will you please play basketball?”