Downey’s Dandy Description Dazzles

Alliterations Anonymous, Anaheim and Azusa, Announces:

1993 Wordy Writing Wrangle Won. Headliner Happening Handily Harvested. Dynamic Downey Dazzles Domain, Deftly Displaying Didactic Draft. Jejune Journalist Jauntily Jolts Judges. Scruffy Scribe Scribbles Savantly.

ANAHEIM and AZUSA, May 22, 1993--Los Angeles Times sports columnist Mike Downey won first prize (an unused copy of Roget’s Thesaurus) at the Annual Alliterationists Anonymous Wordy Writing Wrangle.

Downey, an animated activist of alliterative allusion, crushed contending colleagues in his current column with this catchy clip: “Deep in his own zone, a zealous Zhitnik zig-zagged zestfully into Zezel and zapped him.”

Critics were candidly concerned with Downey’s use of eight non-alliterative words, a 50% AA (alliteration average), but adjudged his entry best when they considered the letter used. (Z is second only to X as the least-liked letter in the alphabet.)

When declared dominant, a dumbfounded Downey declared, “Zounds!” Previous winners include Graham Greene, James Jones, James Joyce, Margaret Mitchell, Yevgeny Yevtushenko and Fearless Fosdick.

GLENN DALY

San Diego