This Vote Belongs to Rubley, Too

T oday’s unconventional wisdom . . .

T.J. Rubley: The people’s choice, by a landslide--and after 16 victories and 39 losses the last 3 1/2 seasons under John Robinson, Chuck Knox and Ernie Zampese, isn’t it time the people had a say? “We’re not going to vote on it,” Knox says, rolling out the wet blanket, which means, most likely, another week of the status quo and another loss to the 49ers. In a fax/phone poll conducted by this newspaper, Rubley supporters outdistanced Jim Everett’s, 37-3, which sounds like an old Cal State Fullerton football score. Everett would do well to note, too, what happened to Cal State Fullerton football.

Jim Everett: First he blasts Knox’s offense as “obsolete,” then he backs off and rewrites himself. What he really meant to say, you understand, is that “scoring zero points is obsolete.” Well, well--and hasn’t this type of behavior been the crux of the problem all along? Verbal happy feet. Everett’s cause would be easier to argue if the quarterback would take a stand--anytime, anywhere, field or interview--and stick with it. Waffle has been on the menu far too long. Stop passing the syrup, and stop passing the blame. “Outside instigators” didn’t put Everett in his current predicament. Incompletions and interceptions did.

Scott Mitchell: Let’s see. Untested, unheralded quarterback, played for mid-sized Midwestern college, wasn’t drafted high, replaces “iron-man” starter, isn’t flashy, makes no big mistakes, hands off the ball and gets out of the way, oversees 41-27 victory for playoff-contending Miami Dolphins. It can be done.

Placekick holder: Why is this such a puzzle for the Rams--Rubley’s cube, so to speak? Where does it say that a quarterback must hold for Tony Zendejas? In the past, the Rams have done just fine with a safety (Nolan Cromwell) and a tight end (Pete Holohan) holding on extra points. If Rubley’s a little rough around the edges on this, find someone with good hands who can kneel, catch a football and balance it on the ground by its tip. Sean LaChapelle, perhaps? Give him something to do?

Dusty Baker: The National League manager of the year, which shows NL beat writers know what they’re doing, as opposed to the situation with . . .

Gene Lamont: Never mind his strategy against Toronto in the playoffs, which has to go down as the worst case of postseason mismanaging since John McNamara, 1986. Lamont was named American League manager of the year for his work in the regular season--and what was that exactly? Taking a team that should have blown away the AL West and watch it sweat well into September? Johnny Oates did much more with much less. So did Buck Showalter. So did Buck Rodgers.

Toronto, City of Champions: Home to the two-time defending World Series titlists and the first 9-0 team in NHL history. As you might imagine, this is not going down particularly well in Montreal. Sunday morning, the Montreal Gazette headlined the Maple Leafs’ grand achievement thusly: “Leafs, heaven help us all, post best start in history.”

A Mighty Two Pucks A Night: In the net, that is--the Mighty Ducks’ average offensive output. After nine games, the Ducks’ 18 goals ranked them 25th in a 26-team league, ahead of only winless San Jose. In their last three games, the Ducks have scored twice. Such production is not unusual for an expansion team, but left uncorrected, it tends to make goaltenders grumpy and hard-working defensemen demoralized. Having been there with the Sharks in 1991-92, Jack Ferreira has taken to his phone and his Rolodex.

Dmitri Kvartalnov: His name and the Ducks have been linked in East Coast gossip columns--and the 20-year-old left wing did score 30 goals and 72 points last season for Boston. So why is he riding the Bruin bench now? Boston has the same need as Anaheim--more goals--and yet Kvartalnov has appeared in just three of the Bruins’ first nine games, scoring nyet. Maybe centering passes from Anatoli Semenov would help . . .

Jimmy Carson: Hmmm. He’s available, very available. Ducks president Tony Tavares and Kings president Roy Mlakar are best friends. Michael Eisner and Bruce McNall are tight. The Kings need an enforcer (Stu Grimson? Todd Ewen?) and would really appreciate some nice team taking Carson and his $1.1-million annual salary off their hands and . . . oops, that’s where that one goes down the drain. Unless, perhaps, the Kings agree to absorb some of Carson’s contract. They’re already paying Marty McSorley $300,000 to help Pittsburgh return to the Stanley Cup finals this season. How about helping the truly needy for a change?