On Dancer, on Prancer, on Comet--on Gertrude?

Pssst: We have a dirty little holiday secret to share, and when it shows up in the supermarket tabloids, remember where you saw it first: One of Santa’s reindeer has had a sex-change operation.

We noticed over the holidays that one of the reindeer pulling Santa’s sleigh above the intersection of Wilshire and Little Santa Monica boulevards in Beverly Hills was missing its antlers.

Our first guess was that this was simply another manifestation of the decaying infrastructure in Beverly Hills. A check with the Chamber of Commerce, which handles the city’s holiday decorations, revealed, however, that one of the bucks had been transformed into a doe.

“We had to take the antlers off one of the deer so there would be at least one female there,” said Bill Boyd, the chamber’s executive vice president. “This is in response to political correctness. . . . I would not be surprised if next year we don’t have a 50-50 mix.”

Boyd said the decision to have female representation grew out of an “informal discussion” about political correctness with the chamber staff.

“A majority of the staff of the chamber is women, so that influenced the decision,” he said.

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A twofer: The election year has quickly sprung to life in West Hollywood. Already flavoring the City Council election in April is a plan by one candidate to have a referendum in November on whether to establish an independent city police force--an idea narrowly beaten at the polls two years ago.

A leader of the police campaign, Timothy P. Olson, is running for one of three available council seats, and his April showing could presage a November vote.

It didn’t take long for the issue to have an impact. The City Council last week backed a proposal by incumbent John Heilman-- who is seeking reelection and has vigorously opposed a city police department--to hire a consultant to compare the costs of such a force versus the city’s current contract with the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department.

The police initiative group likes the idea of an independent study, since so much of the 1992 debate came down to cost figures the two sides could not agree on. But the group’s praise included a barb for Heilman. Olson accused him of stealing the study idea in order to “moderate” his previous opposition to a police force.

Heilman scoffed at that, saying he just wants the cost debate settled. And he groaned: “It’s only January and it’s starting already.”

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Wild card?The odds are long and the windmill is spinning, perhaps even faster than usual. But Los Angeles businessman Nick Patsaouras believes dialogue strengthens and invigorates the body politic.

Thus, the 50-year-old Greek immigrant, who ran for the Los Angeles mayor’s job in the spring (placing eighth) and won kudos for the intelligence of his platform, is now considering running for the Westside/Valley seat on the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors being vacated by Ed Edelman.

So far, Los Angeles Councilman Zev Yarolavsky is the candidate to beat. In fact, Yaroslavsky’s daunting presence prompted state Sen. David Roberti (D-Van Nuys) to withdraw from the Edelman race before even firing a shot.

“It’s appealing--there’s no question about it,” Patsaouras said last week of the Edelman opening. “I know the issues (of) the county but no one should kid themselves--Zev is a tough campaigner.”

Still, Patsaouras, who is Supervisor Mike Antonovich’s appointee to the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, said he will not let conventional political considerations totally guide his plans. “I don’t want to get tangled up in too many technicalities,” Patsaouras said. “The big question is--do you feel good about doing this?”

Patsaouras said he also believes in the debate of ideas. “God help us,” he said, “if only one person runs and they are anointed and crowned without a debate.”

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Hope springs eternal: Republicans regard the 24th Congressional District, an affluent stretch of suburban territory that includes Malibu, the southern San Fernando Valley and Thousand Oaks, as turf that ought to be theirs. Former Assemblyman Tom McClintock certainly thought so in 1992, when he bested eight other GOP candidates for the nomination.

McClintock, however, got walloped that November by veteran Democratic Rep. Anthony C. Beilenson, who had been forced by redistricting out of his old Westside stronghold.

Despite Beilenson’s 56% to 39% victory margin, another spirited Republican challenge appears to be taking shape this year. Bill Spillane of Westlake Village, the ex-fighter pilot who ran third in the 1992 GOP primary, has ended his musings and decided to endorse Newbury Park banking consultant Robert Hammer for the seat in this year’s primary.

“I think he’ll be a strong addition to our team,” Hammer said last week. Meanwhile, Hammer has embarked on a low-key (so far) effort to learn about some of the area’s social problems. One week he was joining West Valley LAPD vice squad officers in a raid on a house of prostitution, and the next he was helping out at a homeless shelter in Thousand Oaks.

“These are not big-deal things,” Hammer said. “But instead of reading about these issues in a white paper, I’m seeing them firsthand. This campaign is about ears and voices--hearing what the voters are having to say and then giving voice to it.”

Does it sound as if Hammer is planning to contrast his own style with that of attorney Richard Sybert, who headed Gov. Pete Wilson’s research and planning office? You bet. One can expect Hammer to portray Sybert--who insiders say is the favorite to win the Republican primary--as a soulless technocrat in an ivory tower.

“We are going to run a citizen’s campaign, not a politician’s campaign,” Hammer said.

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Decorum out the window: A bitter, private dispute over the management of finances and the quality of youth programs at the Beverly Hills Family YMCA erupted in the open at last week’s Beverly Hills City Council meeting. One longtime city hall observer said it was one of the nastier outbursts he could recall.

Two parents, Michael Bilinsky and Al Ross, both of whom used to be volunteer basketball coaches at the Y, called executive director John Eikrem a liar and a clown. Eikrem, reading from a prepared statement, said the former coaches were “compulsive troublemakers” and that it was “no small coincidence that this type of silliness surfaces every four years when our board chair is running for reelection” to the City Council.

The YMCA chairman in question is City Councilman Robert K. Tanenbaum, whose council seat is one of two on the April ballot. Tanenbaum held his tongue during the verbal shelling, perhaps saving his ammunition for another day.

A review of the YMCA’s financial records by the accounting firm of Ernst & Young turned up no irregularities, but the former coaches and several former employees insist that a more extensive audit of donations and expenses is needed.

The council resisted efforts by the former coaches to drag the city into the murky dispute. Councilman Allan Alexander said the council can properly consider during its annual budget deliberations in June whether the city should again contribute $37,500 to the Y as part of its annual donation to community service groups. But the internal operations of the Y should be addressed by the group’s board of directors, he said.

Case closed? Hardly. Bilinsky and Ross say they want Tanenbaum and the YMCA’s executive director booted out of the organization, and will keep going to council meetings until they get what they want.

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Council meetings this week:

Beverly Hills: no meeting (310) 285-2400.

Culver City: 7 p.m. Monday, Interim City Hall, 4095 Overland Ave. (310) 202-5851.

Los Angeles: 10 a.m. Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, 200 N. Spring St. (213) 485-3126.

Malibu: 6:30 p.m. Monday, Hughes Laboratory, 3011 Malibu Canyon Road (310) 456-2489.

Santa Monica: 6:30 p.m. Tuesday, 1685 Main St. (310) 393-9975.

West Hollywood: no meeting (310) 854-7460.

Contributing to this week’s report were staff writers Steven Herbert, John Schwada and Ken Ellingwood and correspondent G. Jeanette Avent.