Inmates Running Asylum and Headlines Prove It

Let us take a timeout, so to speak, to review this Chris Webber caper, which has shaken the basketball world like nothing we have seen since Dennis Rodman first dyed his scalp vermilion.

OK: Basketball player is paid big money to sign with Team A, spends one tumultuous season with Team A, feuds constantly with Team A’s coach, decides he can no longer play for Team A and leaves to sign for big money with Team B.

What’s the big deal?

In college basketball, this happens all the time.

Webber is notable, simply, for taking the NCAA’s time-honored redshirt concept and introducing it to the NBA. The only appreciable difference is that in the NBA, the player sits out before he leaves, not after.

For the past week, all we have heard is vitriol about Webber’s head (too big), Webber’s bread (too much), Webber’s gall (6 feet 10 and growing) and Webber’s sense of loyalty (to Chris Webber, Chris Webber and, ultimately, Chris Webber). Taking a break from that discourse, we inevitably lapse into the Webber Vs. Nellie debate--who comes first before the eyes of The Team, star player or head coach?

Subtitle: Are the inmates running the asylum?

Conclusion herewith: Yes they are, and we had better get used to it.

A potential NBA championship contender, Golden State, has been forced to store that potential in the cooler. Meanwhile, a rebuilding NBA have-not, Washington, was prodded into mortgaging its future so Webber and college buddy Juwan Howard can be reunited--maybe for only a year, since those are the terms of Webber’s Bullet contract.

A landmark case, this was.

Among the headlines you can expect in the days and weeks ahead:

“Webber, Howard Demand Bullets Trade for Jalen Rose, Claim ‘We Miss Him Terribly’ ”

“Bullets Trade Don MacLean, No. 1 Picks in ‘95, ‘97, ’99 to Nuggets for Rose”

“Webber, Howard, Rose Demand Bullets Draft Ray Jackson and Jimmy King, Claim Fab Five was ‘Heartlessly Dismantled Before Its Time’ ”

“Bullets Remind Webber, Howard, Rose That They Were Ones Who Left School Early, Thus Dismantling Fab Five Before Its Time”

“Webber, Howard, Rose Demand Retraction”

“Bullets Retract Statement, Trade Rex Chapman, No. 1 Picks in ‘01, ‘03, ’05 to Clippers for Rights to Draft Jackson, King”

“Webber, Howard, Rose Watch Jackson, King Sign With Bullets, Demand to Renegotiate”

“Bullets Give Webber, Howard, Rose Big Raises”

“Webber, Howard, Rose Demand Bullets Pay Them in Quarters, Drive Them to Video Arcade in Landover Mall”

“Bullets Play Charity Benefits at Duke, North Carolina, Go 0-2”

“Webber, Howard, Rose, Jackson, King Demand Bullets Fire Jim Lynam, Hire Steve Fisher”

“Bullets Fire Lynam, Hire Fisher, Ask, ‘Is There Anything Else We Can Do?’ ”

“Webber, Howard, Rose, Jackson, King Demand Bullets Move to Ann Arbor”

“Ann Arbor Bullets Lose Opener to Warriors; Gugliotta Scores 48”

“Webber, Howard, Rose, Jackson, King Demand Bullets Change Colors To Maize And Blue”

“Bullets Unveil New Colors--’Five Thumbs Up!’ ”

“Webber, Howard, Rose, Jackson, King Complain New Pants ‘Too Short,’ Demand Trade”

Elsewhere in the world of sports:

“Jerome Bettis Demands Trade From Rams; ‘I’ve Gotten The Ball 10 And 15 Times The Last Two Weeks,’ Disgruntled Tailback Says, ‘I Need More Work.’ ”

“Paul Kariya Demands Trade From Mighty Ducks; ‘Play Me Or Trade Me’ Little-Used Rookie Declares”

“Joe Grahe Demands Angels ‘Give Me The Ball, Give Me Some Respect Or Get Me Out Of Here.’ ”

“ ‘Sorry, Just Kidding,’ Ex-Angel Grahe Reveals In Exclusive Interview

“Jim Everett Demands Trade To Place Where Score Isn’t Kept”

“Dennis Rodman Demands Trade To Neptune; Spurs Say They Will Try To Accommodate Him”

“Shaq Demands Trade To New York; ‘You Can’t Get Any Endorsements In This One-Horse Town,’ Orlando Center Complains

“Pooh Richardson, Loy Vaught, Terry DeHere, Elmore Spencer, Lamond Murray Demand Trade Anywhere, Please”

“Romario Demands Transfer From Barcelona To MLS”

“Romario Goes Scoreless In 1995”

“Jerry Rice Demands Trade To KC, Says He’s Tired Of ‘Young Treating Me Like A Decoy”

“Junior Seau Demands Chargers Add Third Sideline To Jack Murphy Stadium--’Some Place Where I Can Stand, Alone, With My Peers’ ”

“Cal Ripken Demands Trade To ‘Any Team That Will Play Me After Aug. 12’ ”

“Chili Davis Demands Trade To St. Louis; ‘I Want To Renew My Ram Season Tickets,’ He Says

“Michael Jordan Demands American League Adopt T-Ball Rules, Regulations”

“Michael Irvin Demands Trade From Cowboys; ‘I Know We’re 9-2,” He Says, “But I Still Think The Head Dude’s Crazy’ ”

“Head Dude Switzer Trades Irvin To ‘Um, I Think Kansas State’ ”

“Tom Gugliotta Demands Nothing; ‘I Just Went From 24 Wins To 54, From Chapman And Skiles To Hardaway And Sprewell, From Sitting Out May And June To Getting Fat Playoff Paychecks Every Spring,’ He Says, ‘What Do I Have To Complain About?’ ”