The iro in De Niro: Inasmuch as...

The iro in De Niro: Inasmuch as the Academy Award ceremonies are held here, we’re going to play the gracious host and provide the visiting scribes with some priceless information--the proper spelling and typography of actor Robert De Niro’s name.

Or DE NIRO’s name.

Either spelling variation is OK, according to a recent, terse memo from his publicist that can only be described as deconstructionist.

We see no problem obeying the directive to keep the “ ‘e’ in ‘De’ . . . the same size and case as the ‘iro’ in ‘Niro.’ ” It’s as easy as remembering that the hipbone is connected to the thighbone. But, typographically speaking, we’re not sure our cheapo home computer can “always (keep) a half space between ‘De’ and ‘Niro.”’

Luckily, those of us in the know just call him Bob. Or is it Bobby?

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License to ride: Roy Reel of Venice saw a Jeep with the license plate MLBU MUD and reports it was sparkling white. “But that was before the recent storms,” he added.

Wonder if MLBU MUD lives close to the motorist who’s PCH CLSD?

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How about a De Niro Library and a DE NIRO Library?Immortality is just a $1-million check away. For a donation of that amount, L.A. will rename one of its libraries after you. That’s right. If you want, you can scrape off the name of a lesser light such as Benjamin Franklin, John Audubon or Mark Twain and put your own moniker up. One exception is the Central Library. Which makes sense. Why would the city want to change a snappy name like that?

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USC vs. UCLA (cont.): We knew it would happen. After we had questioned the ability of USC students to spell, Mary Carver of Pasadena and a couple of other readers sent us a clipping that showed UCLA students standing next to a sign that had a botched spelling of the word “community.”

But before we could even get that incident into print, a Bruin named Franco Erspamer sent us a boo-boo he spotted in an invitation sent out by USC.

Back to you, Trojans.

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A bad case of congestion anyway you look at it: KNX radio’s Bill Keene was the guru of L.A. traffic reporters. But he retired awhile back and it was inevitable that his successors would make some changes. Keene, for instance, used to refer to the East L.A. Interchange of the 5, 10, 60 and 101 freeways as “Malfunction Junction.” But, the other day, we were shocked to hear KNX’s Jim Thornton call it the “Beast L.A. Interchange.” We await a ruling from the East L.A. Interchange’s publicist.

miscelLAny With ocean conditions affected by the continuing runoffs from the recent rains, the Malibu Divers shop posted this forecast on its “General Dive Conditions” sign: A skull and crossbones, along with the message, “Dangerous--Go to the movies.”