So this is the trade-off?Let’s see--St. Louis...

So this is the trade-off?Let’s see--St. Louis gets the miserable L.A. Rams. And what does Southern California get in return? Well, now we read there could be an outbreak of mosquito-transmitted St. Louis encephalitis here. We’re still not sure who got the worst of the deal.

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What’s wrong, buddy--can’t afford the cover charge?Larry Herbst says he always gets a laugh when he spots a Universal Studios character ogling the girls at a dance establishment on Century Boulevard.

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If you think today’s TV shows are bad . . . : Author Craig Nelson’s lists the all-time greatest boob-tube flops in his book “Bad TV.” Tune in and grimace:

* “You’re in the Picture” (1961): Celebrities would “stick their head through the cutout holes of carnival paintings and, by asking host Jackie Gleason questions, try to guess what the painting was.” Gleason apologized on the air for the show, which folded after one week.

* “Toni Twin Time” (1950): A talent show hosted by Jack Lemmon, “which included twin girls, one of whom had a Toni home permanent--but which one could it be?”

* “Cop Rock” (1990): “Cops, criminals, lawyers and judges boogying down in music-video-style choreography.” Gee, it sounded like such a sure-fire formula . . .

* “Where’s Everett?” (1966): A sitcom in which Alan Alda and Patricia Smith “adopt a baby who’s not only from another planet, but invisible, causing the show’s title to be repeated endlessly.”

* “The Chevy Chase Show” (1993): Viewers knew it was in trouble when guest Goldie Hawn “broke into song praising Chevy’s immortal inner soul and remarkable humanity.”

* “Killdozer” (1974): A TV movie in which Clint Walker and Carl Betz are attacked by a “space alien-controlled bulldozer.” A cautionary tale for every homeowner planning an addition.

* “My Mother the Car” (1965-66): Jerry Van Dyke finds his late mother has returned as a talking jalopy whose dramatic range enables her “to nag ceaselessly, get drunk on antifreeze and roll downhill.”

* “Lie Detector” (1983): Host/lawyer F. Lee Bailey “explored such questions as: Will Ronald Reagan’s barber admit to dyeing the then-President’s hair?” Despite Bailey’s lovable personality, the show received the death penalty.

* “Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell” (1978): A TV movie in which “Richard Crenna and Yvette Mimieux find trouble at home when their dog is possessed by Satan.” It was canceled before the pooch could even take a lie detector test.

* “Quark” (1978): A sitcom in which Richard Benjamin pilots a garbage barge in outer space. Now, if F. Lee Bailey had been in that role . . .

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And the loser is: Judy Wolman of Manhattan Beach writes to express her sorrow that Charlton Heston did not reveal the rejected entries in the recent contest in which fans submitted names for his autobiography. Heston, you may recall, chose “In the Arena.”

Wolman was thoughtful enough to throw out some guesses:

* “The Reel Sermon”

* “Days of Mine and Moses”

* “Guns and Moses”

And, of course, “Sermon on the Lot.”

Wonder if anyone submitted “An Actor’s Life”? Then again, that title was taken for the 1978 autobiography of an actor--Charlton Heston.

miscelLAny Here’s a reason to welcome the players back to Dodger and Anaheim stadiums. The Wall Street Journal reports that the average divorce rate in cities that have major league baseball teams is 28% lower than others. At least until the ticket prices start going up.