Pro Football Spotlight : OH, NO! BONO! SAY IT’S SO, JOE

Here’s one play you won’t find in the Buddy Ball playbook. You could have steamed an enchilada on Arizona Coach Buddy Ryan’s head as he watched Kansas City quarterback Steve “Go Go” Bono make the longest scoring run by a quarterback in NFL history.

The play covered 76 yards and about an hour and a half--not really, it’s just that Bono isn’t exactly swift. In fact, the only Bono that Steve probably could beat in a footrace is Sonny.

“I’ll be frank with you,” Chief Coach Marty Schottenheimer said. “We didn’t expect the result we got. I told him before the play, ‘Don’t pull a hamstring running.’ But as slow as he runs, there was no danger of that.”

Bono faked a handoff to Marcus Allen and took off untouched, waved on by offensive lineman Joe Valerio. Remember the name.

In the second quarter of Kansas City’s 24-3 victory, Bono threw a one-yard touchdown pass to Valerio, a third-string lineman, on a tackle-eligible play.

MAYBE THE STEEL CURTAIN MAKES A NICE CALENDAR

From the Dept. of Useless Information: The Steelers are 10-0 against San Diego in regular-season games in Pittsburgh after blowing out the Chargers, 31-16.

Of course, in the playoffs, the only season that really counts, the Chargers beat Pittsburgh, 17-13, to win the AFC championship game in January at Three Rivers Stadium.

NOT HERE, THERE, ANYWHERE

Yes, the 49ers noticed that the Cowboys were upset by the Redskins. But San Francisco fullback William Floyd said Dallas’ 27-23 defeat doesn’t really matter.

Said Floyd: “You know Dallas is going to be there at the end. You know we’re going to be there at the end, so that’s neither here nor there.”

INJURY REPORT

Quarterback Troy Aikman of the Cowboys strained his right calf muscle against the Redskins and is expected to be out from two to three weeks. Aikman wasn’t hit, but speculated that his cleats got caught in the grass. . . . Running back Rodney Hampton of the Giants broke a bone in his right hand in the game against the 49ers. He left late in the third quarter after recovering a bad pitchout from quarterback Dave Brown. . . . Tampa Bay quarterback Trent Dilfer left the Buccaneers’ game at Carolina late in the second quarter because of a mild concussion. . . . New Orleans quarterback Jim Everett was sacked four times and sent to the sideline by a sprained ankle, but he returned. . . . Indianapolis cornerback Damon Watts dislocated a left toe on an interception return and was on crutches when the game ended. Indianapolis reserve linebacker Scott Radecic was also on crutches in the fourth quarter because of a sprained ankle. The Colts also lost tight end Thomas McLemore when he dislocated a shoulder blocking to free Marshall Faulk for his first touchdown.

THAT SAINTS’ SPIRIT? IT’S IN THE BAG

Way down yonder in New Orleans, it’s getting ugly. They may have to change the name of the Superdome to the Loserdome. The Saints are 0-5 and off to their worst start since 1980 when they lost their first 14 games in a 1-15 season.

A crowd of 43,938 watched them lose, 15-10, to the Eagles, the smallest turnout for a Saint game in the Superdome since 29,745 watched the first strike game in 1987.

And, yes, many ‘fans’ put paper bags over their heads when it became apparent the Saints would lose again.

BUT THINK OF TIME SAVED NOT TRYING CONVERSIONS

After the Eagles scored 15 points on five field goals (and beat lowly New Orleans, 15-10), quarterback Rodney Peete assessed the Philadelphia offense: “We’ve got to score more touchdowns.”

Or any.

QUOTEWORTHY

Dallas Coach Barry Switzer after the Cowboys gave up 27 points, lost to Washington and lost quarterback Troy Aikman to a calf injury: “Troy doesn’t play defense.”

Indianapolis running back Marshall Faulk, crediting his line for the 177 yards he gained rushing: “I’m just the one who had the ball in his hands.”

New Orleans Coach Jim Mora on the plight of the 0-5 Saints: “What this team needs is a win.”

Tampa Bay quarterback Trent Dilfer, who had a mild concussion against Carolina: “I don’t remember much about the first half.”