It’s Outlandish to Mix Up These Schools

UCLA’s Jonathan Ogden went to Oklahoma City last week to pick up his Outland Trophy, awarded the nation’s outstanding interior lineman.

At the presentation, he looked closely at the trophy, his shoulders sagged and he said, “Oh, my goodness!”

The plaque identified his school as “University of Southern California.”

“Of all the schools!” Ogden wailed.

As Ivan Maisel wrote in the Sporting News, “The engravers got a second chance the next day. They may not know who Ogden is, but rest assured the NFL does.”

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Trivia time: Who was the last Heisman Trophy winner not to try to play pro football?

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Name game: What should the Houston Oilers call themselves when they move to Nashville?

The Daily Times of Maryville, Tenn., queried readers recently and the following were submitted:

--Notes.

--Strummers.

--Elvi.

--Cats.

--Stars.

One cynical response: The Tennessee B.A.G., standing for Bud Adams Greed.

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Barry ball: The Sporting News’ Dave Kindred, on Barry Switzer’s Cowboys winning the Super Bowl:

“Astonishing, what Jerry Jones did. To replace the legend Jimmy Johnson, who had replaced the legend Tom Landry, the owner hired a pariah.

“He gave the NFL’s best job to a man who couldn’t get a job. Colleges wouldn’t touch the rogue whose players ran riot. He’d never been in the pros. He hadn’t been on a football field in six years.

“Barry Switzer said yes in a heartbeat, goodgawdamighty yes, yes, yes, Jerry, whatever you say, Jerry, and folks can say whatever they want to say, but, Jerry, we’re going to do it our way.”

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Come again? Las Vegas writer Tim Dahlberg interviewed gamblers at various Las Vegas sports books last Sunday, and watched a man and his friends put $70,000 on the proposition that Dallas and Pittsburgh wouldn’t score a total of at least 52 points.

They won, but for a wacky reason: “They drugged up Troy Aikman and he’s not going to play today,” one man said. “No one knows this but us.”

His profit: $64,000.

As the late Minnesota Fats once said, “Ninety percent of all humans are imbeciles, and a lot of people don’t understand the strength of that.”

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Trivia answer: Charlie Ward of Florida State in 1993. Before him, Pete Dawkins of Army in 1958.

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Quotebook: Coach Marc Crawford of the NHL’s Colorado Avalanche, praising player Uwe Krupp’s rehabilitative work on a knee injury and explaining why the injured player made a recent trip: “Mrs. Krupp would like to get him out of the house for a while.”