Here’s a Quick Way to Pay Off That Mortgage

The big winner of the U.S. Open this week at Bloomfield Hills, Mich., is not a golfer. It’s Jerry Sima, who bought his house 10 years ago for $153,000. He is renting it now for $125,000.

Sima’s house, which sits near the third green at Oakland Hills Country Club, will be rented by a company that plans to use it as a hospitality center.

Moreover, the lawn will be rented out for parking. Sima figures he can handle about 80 cars, front and back.

The 57-year-old high school English teacher will also get another perk from the country club. “They sent me two passes for each day for the inconvenience,” he said.

Trivia time: What is the record for the lowest 18-hole score in the U.S. Open?

Sir Fibber? Joe Gilmartin in the Phoenix Gazette: “One of my favorite [Charles] Barkley bits is the one about the big mistake the Suns made in trading Cedric Ceballos [to the Lakers].

“What’s funny about this is that Charles actually asked the Suns to trade Cedric because--and this is the real knee-slapper--Cedric was too selfish.

“Charles, the Sultan of Self himself, calling Cedric selfish?”

Permanent doghouse: Former Angel relief pitcher Lee Smith, traded to Cincinnati, had to suffer the indignity of having owner Marge Schott slap a “Schottzie” cap on his head, complete with dangling ears, during his introductory news conference.

“Damn, I hope my boys in Louisiana don’t see that [on TV],” Smith said, “or I’ll never be able to go home.”

No Streak: When the Lakers’ NBA record 33-game win streak ended in Milwaukee on Jan. 9, 1972, trainer Frank O’Neill was philosophical.

“We’ll get another one going,” he said. “We’ll call it Son of Streak.” It was short lived. The Lakers beat Detroit on Jan. 11, before losing to Cincinnati on Jan. 12.

Yawn: Ron Borges of the Boston Globe on the excuses made by Julio Cesar Chavez after losing to Oscar De La Hoya last Friday night: “He sounded like Richard Milhous Chavez giving the Checkers speech in Spanish.”

FYI: Some Olympic Games concession stand prices: Jumbo hot dog, $4; hamburger, $4.25; French fries, $3.25; soft drink, $2.75 to $3.25; bottled water, $2.75 to $4; beer, $3.50 to $4.50; popcorn, $3.25; Jumbo pretzel, $2.50; barbecue rib platter, $9.

Looking back: On this day in 1930, Max Schmeling defeated Jack Sharkey on a fourth-round foul to win the vacant heavyweight title in New York.

Trivia answer: 63, by Johnny Miller in 1973, and Jack Nicklaus and Tom Weiskopf in 1980.

And finally: Cincinnati shortstop Barry Larkin explaining Red players’ demands that radio announcer Marty Brennaman clear out a shrine to Elvis Presley in his booth:

“We felt Elvis was a bad symbol. Not a demonic symbol. Just a bad symbol.”