Health Difficulties Are No Match for McElroys’ Faith

Mark McElroy, San Clemente’s football coach, is a public figure in a close-knit town. But he’s also a private man who cherishes his faith and family more than anything.

He would rather talk about his players or his four kids than himself. But in this case, he made an exception. He felt this story of love, heartache, strength and spirit was worth sharing.

Deanne McElroy, his wife of 17 years, has multiple sclerosis--a chronic, often disabling, disease that randomly attacks the central nervous system and afflicts 300,000 Americans.

Not many people in town know Deanne McElroy has MS. It’s not exactly the kind of thing you broadcast.

“If you look at her, you’ll say ‘Wow, she’s pretty,’ ” Mark said. “She looks great. But you don’t know what’s going on inside her brain until you look at the CAT scan.”

No one knew until early December, 1996, when she collapsed, losing muscle control over the right side of her body.

Doctors thought Deanne might have suffered a minor stroke. Six weeks later, an internist suggested another possibility.

“He asked Deanne if she had ever had any problems with her eyes,” McElroy said, his voice starting to crack. “About three years earlier, she had double vision and blurred vision. She went to an ophthalmologist and they just wrote it off as a virus.

“When she told him that, I’ll never forget the look on the internist’s face. He said that she might have multiple sclerosis.”

As he sits in his office preparing for the Tritons’ Friday night opener in Honolulu against Punahou, McElroy reflects on the day his family’s life changed.

And he weeps.

Until then, McElroy’s only association with MS was with a woman that his father, George, a pastor at Mission Viejo Christian Church, saw while visiting shut-ins.

“She was a lady in her mid-30s who had no control of her body,” said McElroy, who at that time was in the fifth grade. “She couldn’t speak. She was in a wheelchair, living with her parents. So that’s what immediately went into my mind.”

His next thought was that there was a possibility of a misdiagnosis. He immediately drove to a book store and read what he didn’t want to believe.

“We went through everything that had happened and we knew that was it,” McElroy said.

Still holding a thread of hope, the McElroys searched for a second opinion. They received it from Dr. Stanley VandenNoort, a neurologist who specializes in MS at UC Irvine Medical Center. VandenNoort diagnosed Deanne with “relapsing/remitting multiple sclerosis,” the most common form of the disease.

“It means that she will have periods of ‘exacerbations’ when she might lose feeling in the right side of her body,” Mark said.

The progress, severity and specific symptoms of MS cannot be predicted. The symptoms vary from tingling and numbness to paralysis and blindness.

MS afflicts twice as many women as men, according to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. Most are diagnosed between the ages of 20 and 40. It occurs more commonly among Caucasians, especially those of northern European ancestry. Many of those afflicted have lived much of their lives in cold, damp climates.

Deanne meets all those criteria, except the last one. She was born and reared in Southern California.

There is no cure for MS, but there are treatments. Deanne has been taking Avonex, one of three approved drugs for relapsing MS. Taken once a week, Avonex is designed to lessen the severity of attacks and reduce the progression of the disease or the disability.

Deanne has not suffered a severe attack since the one that sent her to the emergency room in December, 1996. But her days are hardly normal.

“MS is a disease that’s hidden,” Mark said. “If it’s hot out, it can really affect her coordination and her stamina. Other aspects come and go, but the fatigue factor is there a lot. With four kids, it’s tough. She has a wonderful attitude. She feels blessed. She’s thankful for our family and our lives.”

Said Deanne: “I’ve never had a negative outlook on it. I look at it as a condition. Something I have to deal with.”

‘Why Not Me?’

Mark also has a condition, but far less severe. In early February, 1994, a day after Deanne began experiencing vision problems, Mark dropped to his knees in the San Clemente weight room. He was rushed to the emergency room with a possible heart attack. Doctors discovered that he had “mitral valve prolapse,” a non life threatening heart murmur.

“I told him afterward, ‘You always have to one up me, don’t you,’ ” Deanne said.

Little did she know that her first symptoms of MS were coming on and she was the one with the serious health problem.

“That’s been the hardest part for me, because I always envisioned myself as being the caretaker for my family and Mark,” said Deanne, 35. “Now, the tables are turned. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to function when my kids are getting married. I try to laugh about it. I tell my mom, ‘Gosh, Mom, now I guess we’ll be in wheelchairs together.’ ”

When the laughter stops and the close friends and extended family leave, the McElroys’ faith in God remains strong and steady.

“I believe I was put here on earth to serve God,” said Mark, 38. “Other than serving Him, I’m here to be the best husband and father I could possibly be. I feel I’ve been blessed with a wonderful woman to share my life with, and if she has this disease, then God has allowed her to have this disease for a reason.”

However, McElroy admits that was not his first reaction.

“I did ask God why her and why not me?” he said. “Because I view her as someone who’s so much better than me. That made it real hard for me to deal with.”

Somehow, McElroy overcame the initial shock and fear.

“She doesn’t have cancer,” he said. “It’s not a life-threatening disease. It’s just a life-debilitating disease, which in some people’s minds could be much worse.”

In the McElroys’ minds, it’s an opportunity to spend more time with each other and their children--Seth, 14, Caleb, 11, Hannah, 9 and Grace, 6.

“Deanne is much more open to getting out and doing things, like going to the beach, going for a walk,” McElroy said. “Because you never know.

“I have noticed in her, and in me, that things that seem to be really important aren’t quite as important . . . like losing a football game. I’m very competitive and I don’t like to lose. But I also know if you lose a football game, that’s exactly what happened. Nobody lost their life. Families weren’t broken up.”

George McElroy has admired how Mark and Deanne have maintained a fighting spirit.

“I’ve never heard them complain about it, never heard them be angry about it,” George McElroy said. “I’ve just always seen them try to deal with it. They’ve developed a game plan, even though it’s not a game. It’s real. Mark’s been that way ever since he was a young child. He’s thought things through, looked ahead to the future and planned for it.”

Planning Ahead

McElroy is committed to coach the Triton football team this season, but beyond that, he is making no firm plans. He agreed to become chairman of graduate studies in physical education at Azusa Pacific, where he has taught graduate classes the last seven years.

McElroy has been a full-time physical education teacher at San Clemente, but this year he will only teach a fifth-period football class. He was offered the offensive coordinator’s job at Azusa Pacific but turned it down.

He would like to continue to coach the Tritons after this season, especially since his oldest son is just entering San Clemente’s football program. But because of his new position at Azusa Pacific, McElroy isn’t sure he’ll be able to devote enough time to his players and staff at San Clemente.

“At the end of this season, my principal, athletic director and my co-head coach, Steve Crapo, are going to sit down and evaluate the whole situation,” McElroy said.

San Clemente Athletic Director John Hamro, also a McElroy assistant, said he doesn’t want to think about Triton football without McElroy, who recently had a book published on the no-huddle offense.

“When you have what you believe to be the best in the business, you don’t want to lose him,” Hamro said. “We’re not blessed with the talent of a Mater Dei or Santa Margarita. We’ve had to change our scheme every year to fit our personnel. Mark does a great job of getting the most out of his talent.”

McElroy, a wishbone quarterback for the Tritons in the late ‘70s, took over a dormant program in 1992. In six seasons, he has led San Clemente to a 36-25-2 record and three playoff appearances in the South Coast League, one of the county’s toughest. Earlier, McElroy coached two years at Brigham Young--where he earned his doctorate--as one of the few non-Mormons on LaVell Edwards’ staff, and a year at Whitworth College in Spokane, Wash.

But the traveling and recruiting involved with college football took McElroy away from his family too much and he was eager to return home. He was an assistant coach at Capistrano Valley for a season before being hired for his dream job at San Clemente.

The McElroys own a house in Forster Ranch, one of the newer and more moderately priced developments in San Clemente. Though he would have loved to have kept his teaching job at San Clemente, McElroy decided the financial package at Azusa Pacific was too good to pass up. He also jumped at the chance to widen his sphere of influence. Many of his students are high school coaches working on their master’s degrees.

“If I could get coaches to think differently about why they coach and how they coach, it might influence the kids they are coaching,” he said. “Maybe the ripple effect would be greater.”

At a public high school, McElroy said the ripple effect was minimal.

“I’m a public servant, but I answer to a much higher authority,” he said. “So I have to balance that really well.”

But that doesn’t mean McElroy has completely suppressed his Christian values. He started a Bible-study class in his home a year after he became head coach. Trevor Insley, who played under McElroy for three seasons, was one of McElroy’s students.

“I like the way he’s able to take his beliefs and values into coaching,” said Insley, a junior receiver at Nevada. “I’ve always liked the way he carried himself. He’s a real family man. He’ll always make time for his family.

“He was a great role model for me. He never did it by preaching or anything like that. He just led by example.”

McElroy would be glad to hear that. He’s big on humility.

“I’m a normal guy,” he said. “I make mistakes just like everybody else. I know many other people have more difficult crosses to bear than this.”