Geiger Counter Is Off

Today the J.A. stands for Just Asking. . . .

Didn’t we spend the second half of last year listening to how something had to be done to stop the skyrocketing NBA salaries? So why, as soon as the lockout ended, did the Philadelphia 76ers rush to give $54 million to Matt Geiger? Don’t they realize the 11.3 points he averaged last season represented a career high?

Will they ever develop a system that prevents owners from foolishly spending their money? And how soon will it be until the NBA and one of its teams are in court arguing over a loophole in this collective bargaining agreement because a team wants to pay its player even more money?

Can you blame Kobe Bryant for voting against this deal? Would you be in favor of something that cost you $50 million? And, under the old system, how much he would have received for his next contract, when he’ll be 26 and just entering his prime?

Why are people making such a big deal about Ray Buchanan’s guarantee that the Atlanta Falcons would win the Super Bowl?

Is there anything in sports worth less than a guarantee these days? Joe Namath took the award for audacity in Super Bowl III, Pat Riley used up the idea as a motivational tool in 1987, so what reason is there for anyone to guarantee a victory?

And doesn’t a guarantee imply some sort of compensation for failure? Have you ever heard one of these guarantors say what he would do if his team lost?

Are there any more deceptive descriptions than wrinkle-free pants and self-cleaning ovens?

Were you wondering if Rod Strickland was a bear?

Or, to rephrase that, have you ever heard a better quote come out of negotiations than David Falk’s comment on his attempts to get a contract for the Washington Wizards’ free-agent point guard: “My job is to sign Rod Strickland. The only concern I have is the comment Wes [Unseld, the Wizards’ general manager] made on television. He said, ‘Sometimes the bear eats you; sometimes you eat the bear.’ Rod is not a bear. He doesn’t expect to be eaten. He expects to be treated fairly”?

Are you straight on that now?

Have any International Olympic Committee members resigned in the last hour?

And what’s taking Juan Antonio Samaranch so long? Doesn’t he realize that as long as he stays in power, his organization has zero credibility?

Honestly now, didn’t you want to see if ultimate individual Dennis Rodman could play for ultimate control freak Pat Riley? What do you think would have happened first: Latrell Sprewell going after Jeff Van Gundy or Riley choking Rodman?

Do you think Venus Williams is considering a new hairstyle?

Is there some rule that every Pacific-10 basketball game has to go down to the last minute? Then again, are you complaining?

Do you really mean to tell me Art Shell, with a winning record for a funky Raider franchise on his resume, couldn’t do a better job than some of these neophytes that NFL teams are giving head coaching jobs?

Aren’t you glad the Dodgers are going to try to fit some new seats and suites into Dodger Stadium? Anything that keeps them in that stadium a little longer sure beats the alternative, right?

Speaking of old stadiums, do you realize the Sports Arena is now the oldest facility in use in the NBA? Nevertheless, will anyone shed a tear when the Clippers move over to the Staples Center next season?

Once the Toronto Maple Leafs move out of Maple Leaf Gardens, won’t it be sad to think that Montreal and Toronto play in buildings that never hosted the Stanley Cup finals?

Why do customer-service lines ask you to enter your account number on your telephone keys when as soon as you get a live person on the other end the first question is, “Can I have your account number?”

Why do I know Monica Lewinsky’s middle initial is S., but I don’t know anything about David Duval other than that he wears wraparound shades and is the hottest golfer on the planet? How underhyped can a guy get? What are the chances of his landing on the cover of GQ, a la Tiger?

Which is harder, naming half the Chicago Bulls’ roster or naming five Florida Marlins?

Has Michael Olowokandi cleared customs yet?

Don’t you want the Falcons to win just to see Dan Reeves do the Dirty Bird again? Just asking.

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J.A. Adande can be reached at j.a.adande@latimes.com