‘Coach’ Kareem Didn’t Figure to Become a Reality

Of the players most responsible for the Showtime Lakers’ success, the least likely to become a coach was Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

On second thought, there was Michael Cooper, the Sparks’ new coach, but that’s another story.

When Pat Riley coached the Lakers, he wasn’t even sure that Abdul-Jabbar was suited to be captain. This, mind you, was about a decade into his tenure as captain.

Riley complained that Abdul-Jabbar was aloof. The Lakers would have followed Magic Johnson out of a burning building, and, in fact, once did when their hotel in Philadelphia caught on fire, but probably not Abdul-Jabbar.

On teams with players such as Johnson, Cooper and Norm Nixon, who liked to banter, you could pick out Abdul-Jabbar because he often was the one not smiling. (Two other clues were that he was 7 feet 2 and wore goggles on the court.)

Another thing was that he seemed too smart to embark upon a career as tenuous as coaching. You just assumed that the man who once said he wouldn’t be playing after his 30th birthday was destined for a world outside the gym.

Now, at 52, he’s so desperate for a seat on the bench that he’s taken an assistant coaching job with the Clippers.

That’s good for young centers Michael Olowokandi and Keith Closs. If they listen, they will improve because Abdul-Jabbar had to learn more than most dominating big men about the particulars of the position when the dunk was banned while he was at UCLA.

That’s good for Donald Sterling. Accused of sabotaging his coaches and his young players because he was too cheap to hire a full staff of assistants to help coach and teach, he has added Dennis Johnson and Abdul-Jabbar to the payroll since Chris Ford was fired.

Jim Todd still has one fewer assistant than Phil Jackson, but I’d bet on the Clippers’ staff in a half-court game.

This might even be good for Abdul-Jabbar, who could use this experience to fulfill his goal of becoming a head coach.

There’s no rule requiring a coach to be one of the guys. You’d be hard pressed to find anything the San Antonio Spurs’ Gregg Popovich has in common with his players other than the championship rings they’re all wearing.

*

Some experts said the Philadelphia 76ers became contenders for the Eastern Conference championship after acquiring Toni Kukoc. . . .

Not if Kukoc can’t get the ball from Allen Iverson. . . .

It had to be pretty difficult for the Lakers to figure out which 76er was going to take the final shot Sunday. . . .

Iverson didn’t let them down. After missing all 10 of his shots in the second half, he still took an 11th with time running out and had it blocked by Shaquille O’Neal. . . .

You can’t only blame Iverson for a terrible second half. Give Kobe Bryant credit for his defense. . . .

That’s the kind of defense general managers around the league say an athlete such as Bryant should have been playing all along. . . .

After Jackson called Orlando a plastic city, Magic Coach Doc Rivers responded, “When you think about L.A., that’s when you think about plastics, in a lot of ways. . . .

“The difference in us and L.A. is that people live in L.A. because they have to work there. People come to Orlando as a choice.” . . .

True. Orlando is a nice retirement community. . . .

Look on the bright side, UCLA fans. . . .

The Bruins could have gone to the NCAA tournament, which has its Final Four scheduled for Indianapolis. Instead, it looks as if the Bruins are headed for the NIT, which has its semifinals and final in New York. . . .

It’s a slam dunk for The City That Never Sleeps over Nap Town. . . .

When Santa Ana Mater Dei High junior Cedric Bozeman committed to UCLA, the assumption was that the Bruins wouldn’t recruit another point guard this year. . . .

But, with it becoming increasingly apparent that UCLA junior Earl Watson is better suited to off guard, the Bruins are back in the market for a point guard for next season. . . .

They are recruiting 5-11 Brandon Brooks from Portland, Ore. Georgia is another pursuer, pitting Steve Lavin against Jim Harrick. . . .

Reggie Miller shouted a two-word profanity at New York fans during the Indiana Pacers’ loss to the Knicks on Saturday. . . .

Gee, that’s all John Rocker was trying to say.

*

While wondering when Tiger Woods will win again on the PGA Tour, I was thinking: Bobby Bonilla could contribute for the Atlanta Braves if he plays his cards right, I saw more excitement on the Harbor Freeway on Sunday than in the Daytona 500, now I get it--Dennis Rodman is auditioning for the Globetrotters.

*

Randy Harvey can be reached at his e-mail address: randy.harvey@latimes.com