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Getting to the Roots of Problem With NFL

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Winners, losers and coin tosses:

Loser: NFL.

There was a book a few years ago called “The End of History and the Last Man.”

The NFL has reached the end of history.

Can anyone outside St. Louis, Tampa, Jacksonville and Nashville really be enthusiastic about the remaining playoff teams, three of which can’t trace their histories in those cities past the Clinton Administration? The other team, Tampa Bay, dates all the way back to the ‘70s.

Give me real NFL teams. Teams we can love, like the Packers, Steelers, 49ers and Cowboys. Better yet, give me teams we can hate, like the Cowboys.

How can you hate Jacksonville, which hasn’t had a team in a major championship game since Artis Gilmore and Rex Morgan were in college? Or Tampa Bay? I haven’t heard or read anything about the Buccaneers since John McKay was the coach.

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As for those who still hold a grudge against the Rams for leaving, they remind me of the pathetic Brooklyn Dodger fans. Get over it.

Losers: Miami Dolphins.

As Green Bay revealed when it hired Mike Sherman, there aren’t a lot of obvious candidates for head-coaching positions. At least the Dolphins don’t have to pay moving expenses by promoting Dave Wannstedt. But, as the Bears have already learned, he’s nothing more than a good defensive coordinator.

You think the Dolphins were hoping Wannstedt would pull a Bill Belichick and resign within 24 hours?

Loser: Dan Marino.

That “let’s wait and see how everyone feels in a couple of months” response when Wannstedt was asked about whether Marino would return as the Dolphin quarterback was hardly a resounding vote of confidence.

Wannstedt is comfortable with but not intrigued by Damon Huard. Wannstedt is intrigued by but not comfortable with Jim Druckenmiller.

Winner: Jimmy Johnson.

Janis Joplin, his high school classmate in Port Arthur, Texas, didn’t have hair as pretty as his but was smarter. She could have told him, “Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose.”

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Coin Toss: Lakers.

Gary Payton scored 36 points against them Monday, but, after all, he is Gary Payton.

Of more concern to the Lakers should be the fourth quarter that Indiana backup point guard Travis Best had against them in the Pacers’ victory Friday. Opposing coaches are learning that quick guards can take advantage of the Lakers’ not particularly quick Kobe Bryant, Ron Harper and Derek Fisher.

If the center takes Shaquille O’Neal outside the lane, where he isn’t a threat to block shots, the Lakers are vulnerable.

I still wouldn’t plan an out-of-town vacation in June if you want to see the Lakers in the finals. There’s not a team now that looks as if it can take them in four out of seven games. But a week ago I wouldn’t have guessed that they would lose two out of three either.

Winner: Phil Jackson.

When he was a player, Pat Riley was considered the most scholarly Laker because he carried a thick book with him on trips. Alert players picked up on the fact that Riley had the same book at the end of the season as at the beginning.

As he did with the Bulls, Jackson is giving the Lakers books and expects them to be read. He gave Bryant “The White Boy Shuffle,” a 1997 novel by Paul Beatty about a young basketball star in Santa Monica.

Winner: Jonathan Rendall.

If you like boxing, good writing or both, I recommend “This Bloody Mary is the Last Thing I Own.” It’s an amusing and poignant account by Rendall, a former London sportswriter, of his days of covering boxing and managing a young featherweight named Colin “Sweet C” McMillan.

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Coin Toss: USC.

After the victory last week over UCLA, most of the reaction concerned the poor play of the Bruins and coaching of Steve Lavin instead of the outstanding play of the Trojans and coaching of Henry Bibby.

Winner: Steve Alford.

He seems a little hurt that Bob Knight doesn’t consider him a friend. But the last time I read about someone who was Knight’s friend, it was after the Indiana coach had shot him.

Loser: England.

I never thought the International Boxing Federation, which is under federal investigation, and its toadies on New Jersey’s athletic commission could look righteous. But they do, in comparison to the English.

Mike Tyson withdrew his application for a license in New Jersey in 1998 after it became apparent that the commissioners would reject it, despite the money his fights would have meant to Atlantic City.

Faced with a similar decision about whether to allow Tyson into the country, despite its law barring convicted felons, the English home secretary rolled out the red carpet because of the money his fight against Julius Francis will make for the host city, Manchester.

Winner: Richard Brown.

Angel General Manager Bill Stoneman had to have been embarrassed by the letter to The Times that was published Saturday from the team’s former president, who, speaking on behalf of fans, is not content with the lack of activity this winter from the front office.

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Angel President Tony Tavares said when the season ended that the team could trade all 25 players. The only thing worse than that would be to trade none of them.

Winner: John Rocker.

Heavy-metal band Twisted Sister doesn’t want the Braves to continue playing one of its songs, “I Wanna Rock,” when Rocker enters games.

That’s OK, John. There’s always “Dixie.”

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Randy Harvey can be reached at his e-mail address: randy.harvey@latimes.com.

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