LAUGH LINES

Rough Idol: “As he trains in England for his upcoming fight, Mike Tyson says he’d like to make Britain his home. He says he favors the Old World to the New, adding that Europe has an intellectual history that goes back to Attila the Hun. It’s nice to know even Iron Mike has a role model.” (Ira Lawson)

Pot and Panned: “One of Al Gore’s best friends from his younger days claims that Al used marijuana regularly for years. Al Gore smoking marijuana; if that doesn’t prove to young people once and for all that drugs are not cool, nothing will.” (Jay Leno)

Talking the Talk: “The Watergate tapes of former President Richard Nixon went on sale last week . . . Nixon swears so much on these tapes, they’re now thinking of re-releasing them as a rap album.” (Leno)

Walking the Walk: “Pat Buchanan promised that mass immigration to the United States will end once he’s elected president. Don’t worry, Pat. If you’re elected, the big problem’s going to be keeping everybody in.” (Dennis Miller)

Red Flag: “Jesse Jackson told Super Bowl players to wear American flags on their helmets to protest Georgia’s state flag, which shows 13 stars strung out along two bars. Sounds like Super Bowl Sunday at Charlie Sheen’s house.” (Argus Hamilton)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.