Sister’s Blessing Comes With a Word of Caution

We drove 170 miles to attend a nephew’s graduation at St. Joseph High School in Santa Maria, where one of the guest speakers was Sister Bernadette Murphy, representing the L.A. Archdiocese.

She offered an Irish blessing: “May the road rise to meet you,” after first admitting that she was a bit hesitant to say the words.

In quake-prone Southern California, she pointed out, the road “might just do that.”

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SISTER CITIES OF A SORT: “It would appear that not only is L.A. competing with Indianapolis in the indoor arena but also in the outdoor venue,” writes Manuel Gutierrez of Studio City.

He enclosed an article from the Indianapolis Star warning that “just four days after Indianapolis kicked off its 2000 Ozone Awareness Campaign . . . hot, sunny weather is expected to boost ozone levels . . . “ The article talked of how Indianapolis was in danger of being “in violation of clean-air laws.”

The Lakers should feel right at home for their next game there.

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CRITICS DOG L.A.: Gutierrez, a one-man clipping service, also sent along a profile of L.A. by Katy Muldoon of The Oregonian newspaper, which aired one of Hollywood’s most sensitive stories.

Muldoon dug up this quote from Groucho Marx:

“Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood.”

I wish I could say that Groucho was joking. But it’s true: All the dogs that portrayed Lassie were males.

June Lockhart, who starred in one of the “Lassie” shows, once explained it to me this way:

“Male dogs are easier to train. They’re bigger and they don’t have the problem, to put it delicately, of coming into season.”

Those dogs were great actors, too. I don’t ever recall one wincing after being told, “Good girl!”

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TODAY’S CIVICS LESSON: Welcome to this column’s Know Your Government Institutions section.

* It seems to me that people wear less jewelry these days. One reason could be the fear that it will be seized by the “Treasure” and tax collector (see accompanying), submitted by Richard Rose of Pasadena. No need to bury your valuables, folks, really. It was a typo (free of charge) in recent mailings from L.A. County.

* Then there’s the “Infernal” Revenue Service (see accompanying). This was no typo but a promotion by KFI radio. “Too bad--when I saw the $10,000 refund check inside, I was ready to kiss my tax accountant,” said Justin Leavens of Sherman Oaks. The check, of course, was fake.

* If you get a chance to take in an L.A. City Council meeting in the temporary headquarters in City Hall East, you may notice some changes (see drawing). Actually, the drawing is on a greeting card published by the Our Town company. The punch line inside the card is: “May the Farce Be With You!” Nothing like timeless humor.

* Finally, Nancy Mastroianni of Placentia found a post office that seems to be providing therapy (see accompanying). For the poor souls waiting in line? For the employees? Let’s hope it’s for both.

miscelLAny:

The discussion of the Cadillac with the WUZHIS vanity plate driven by a female reminded Andy Berkin of Manhattan Beach of a far testier divorce plate he saw: H8MYEX.

I checked the DMV Web site and found not only that message but an IH8MYEX variation. But let’s not end on a negative note. There are also plates that say, LUVMYEX and LVMYEX. Sentimentalists? Or the recipients of especially good settlements? Whatever, I hope they were treated well by the Infernal Revenue Service.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A., 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.