LAUGH LINES

Misses the Mark: “MSNBC’s Brian Williams asked [George W.] Bush point-blank, flat-out . . . if he had dyslexia. Bush said, no, he does not have dyslexia. He said he eats three big meals a day.” (Jay Leno)

Wait and See: “Many in the U.S. are watching Canadian TV to get live Olympic coverage. NBC is not happy about that at all. Funny, the network that gave us ‘Must See TV’ is now saying, ‘Must Wait to See TV.’ ” (Daily Scoop)

Stolen Secrets?: “Al Gore is being accused of stealing George Bush’s campaign secrets. . . . That’s like stealing the blueprints for Firestone tires.”(David Letterman)

Destination Canada: “More and more American sports fans are traveling to Canada to watch Olympics events live rather than view NBC’s tape-delayed [broadcast]. President Clinton was so excited about the live coverage, he declared it the best reason to go to Canada since the Vietnam War.” (Jerry Perisho)

Read All About It: “NBC’s ‘Law and Order’ will soon have its own magazine. ‘Law and Order’ magazine will profile real crime cases. . . . Mixing a fictional TV show with real crimes? . . . Sounds like ‘Diff’rent Strokes.’ ” (Daily Scoop)

*

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.