Ryder Cup Is Shaping Up as a Strange, New World

Curtis Strange stopped by The Times Tuesday for a free lunch, which explains why we were also joined by six editors.

I listened to Strange on Monday’s all-night ABC broadcast of the Baloney at Bighorn, so spending two days in a row within earshot of a gabby golfer who isn’t Tiger makes it ridiculous to pay much attention to what’s being said.

The editors, confined to chatting with each other every day, thought Strange was a hoot. They stayed all the way through dessert.

STRANGE IS captain of the U.S. Ryder Cup team, and there is supposed to be intense suspense over whom he might pick for the final two spots in the late September match against the Europeans at The Belfry in England.

I know when I go to bed at night, the last thing I say to my wife is, “I wonder who Curtis will pick?” Then she usually says, “Did you remember to let the dogs out?” By the time I return, Scruffy, Ralphie and I are the only ones still awake.

Now given the opportunity to really know what Strange might be thinking about the final two spots, I never dreamed one of our editors would put down his fork and beat me to the first question.

“Xchp bind of shhrts will da amahghgh be waaing?” he said, and since I listen to these guys talk with food in their mouths all the time, I understood this one was asking: “What kind of shirts will the Americans be wearing?”

They will probably be wearing whatever Tiger and Nike suggests, but Strange said, “it’s a patriotic event,” so he expects there will be “a red, white and blue theme” every day. I’m guessing red will dominate on Sunday.

That seemed fine with everyone except for one editor who told Strange it’s annoying to see all the wives dressed the same as the players, and now we know who’s still bitter at having to wear matching shirts while going steady.

BEFORE THE conversation got much deeper, Strange wanted everyone to watch a video highlighting the U.S. victory in 1999 when Justin Leonard rolled in a 45-foot putt on No. 17 to ignite the greatest celebration ever seen on a golf course. It was very emotional, Ben Crenshaw--the previous Ryder Cup captain--twice being shown kissing the ground, and even a dullard like Duval going bonkers, all because Leonard rolled in a miracle.

So I’m thinking it’s a no-brainer when Strange talks about picking two players to fill his team: Leonard and some guy who won the Quad Cities Open, and suddenly he’s talking like he’s already eliminated America’s hero before the next patriotism convention has convened.

“I’m looking at the top 20 players in the Ryder Cup standings and have been in touch with all of them,” Strange said, and I’m looking at a list in my hand that has Leonard ranked No. 23.

I believe Strange is giving us a hint who won’t be going to England, and when I suggested he was nuts, he asked me, “Did Leonard win” that Ryder Cup match that completed one of the greatest comebacks in sports history and the Americans’ first in the event since 1993?

It’s a trick question. He tied Jose Maria Olazabal, which was worth a half a point, and while maybe Strange doesn’t think it was a big deal beating a girl, Leonard came back from being four down with seven holes to play and everything riding on him to collect that half-point for a U.S. victory.

“Did he win?” Strange repeated. “Jose Maria still had a putt after the celebration and imagine what it would have done to us had it gone in.”

She didn’t make it, however. And besides, isn’t America all about celebrating the underdog? How can you stage the Ryder Cup without the hero who put it in America’s hands, and remember, if Europe ties the U.S., the U.S. keeps it because Leonard’s putt rolled in.

“Did he win?” Strange said, and how would you have liked to have been this guy’s caddy?

I held up a copy of a handout the Ryder Cup people had given us, a Sports Illustrated cover from 1999 with Leonard on it--his arms raised in touchdown fashion--capturing all the emotion of that wonderful event with the headline: “The Putt Heard ‘Round The World.”

And now I can see the Sports Illustrated follow-up in September when Strange makes it official, leaving Leonard on the couch in favor of David Toms and Frank Lickliter with the magazine headline: “How Strange?”

I’m so upset with this, I think every one of the six editors should return the four sterling cut glasses--exquisitely engraved with the Ryder Cup emblem--to the golf officials who sent them as a gift along with Strange.

The only reason I’m keeping mine is to toast my good fortune of working with such fine editors.

WHO SAYS Disney isn’t willing to spend the big bucks. The Angels called to say they were having a conference call to tell everyone they hadn’t done anything before the trading deadline. You know what a conference call costs?

THE OAKLAND A’s, meanwhile, made a move to put them over the top, purchasing the Sacramento minor league contract of F.P. Santangelo.

Can’t wait for the tense, nail-biting World Series confrontation between Santangelo and Dodger ace Terry Mulholland.

WHAT WERE the odds? When I arrived at the Bighorn Golf Club for Tiger’s TV show, I had to walk up a long sidewalk adjoining the 10th fairway. On the tee, a fivesome was teeing off, and looking into the sun I fretted about getting plunked in the head.

Fortunately someone came by in a cart to carry me out of harm’s way, and when I made it to the top, I took a look to see who had been teeing off in my direction and the first person I noticed was former Dodger general manager Kevin Malone.

I wonder what he would have given for a mulligan.

TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from Nancy:

“The myth of women being slow golfers is just that. I play behind old guys who can barely walk, and guys who insist on playing from blue tees even though they stink.”

Yeah, I’ve been stuck behind Al Michaels’ foursome, too.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.