He Has a Way of Fitting In Wherever He Goes

Ron Rapoport in the Chicago Sun-Times: “He’s old, he’s fat, he’s bald, he’s tattooed and he can pitch all day long. I’d say he’s perfect.”

Rapoport was referring, of course, to David Wells, acquired by the White Sox.

“I mean, here the Sox have obtained a guy whose mother ran with Hell’s Angels, who has his grandmother, son and mother tattooed on his body and who prompted no less an authority than George Steinbrenner to say he looks as if he belongs in a beer-league softball game.”

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Trivia time: Which NFL franchise has the best Super Bowl record?

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Motivation: During the Sydney Olympics, Bernard (Kip) Lagat of Kenya gave one of the memorable quotes of 2000 when he was asked why his country produces so many outstanding runners.

“It’s the road signs,” he said. “Beware of lions.”

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One big appetite: Georgia Tech football Coach George O’Leary, when asked how his team will be changed by the loss of heavyweight offensive coordinator Ralph Friedgen, now the head coach at Maryland:

“There’ll be a little more food available; other than that, nothing will change.”

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Bonus points: Tony Kornheiser in the Washington Post, on the New York Giants’ rout of the Minnesota Vikings: “Forty-one points by the Giants? Man, this ought to help them move up in the BCS standings.

” . . . Kerry Collins had two touchdown passes in the first two minutes and 12 seconds. He came out like a Corvette on an empty road.”

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Positive person: Here’s a reason Kirby Puckett is going to get a lot of votes when they announce the hall-of-fame balloting today:

“I played the game like people played it before me,” Puckett told the St. Paul [Minn.] Pioneer Press. “I laughed, I smiled. I loved what I did. It wouldn’t matter if I was 0 for 4 or four for four.”

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Hospitality: If Shaquille O’Neal ever decides to leave the Lakers, New York Knick Coach Jeff Van Gundy will throw down the welcome mat:

“We’ll change the name [of the team]. The Knicks, the Shaqs, whatever.”

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A small plus: Florida Panther Coach Duane Sutter, after Rob Niedermayer and Lance Pitlick had fought in practice: “Negative energy is better than no energy.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1972, the Dallas Cowboys defeated the Miami Dolphins in Super Bowl VI in New Orleans, 24-3.

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Trivia answer: The San Francisco 49ers, with a 5-0 record.

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And finally: Nick Canepa in the San Diego Union-Tribune, on the AFC championship game:

“This was like watching slow, agonizing death. It was as though the Ravens tied the Raiders down to the turf, poured bird seed all over them and ate away until nothing but carcass remained.

“These must be the birds Hitchcock used to scare the hell out of everybody.”